Helloo World!

4 06 2013

Keying into the ‘Me’ time is so tough after the long sojourn. I really did think that it would be so easy to hop back and pick up things from where I have left. A long pause of 4 years feels like a life time and it is not easy to pretend that nothing has changed, especially when I know that the dreamy idealist has learned to shield herself with a cloak of realism..

What makes me drag myself to the writing desk today? A small acknowledgement from the void that made me long for those deep pauses of reflective contemplations. Sometimes its just a little push that is needed at the right time. So thank you pal for that small token and yes I hear you. It is no fun to lock myself out from that little shelter that I so ardently crafted for being my muse.

Rediscovering things that are close to heart should be positively charging, isn’t it? I still cant shake that sense of clumsy premonition that is playing my companion with every key stroke. I hope it passes away soon to lead me into that familiar comfort zone as I make terms with myself. Until then, here is a big  ‘hello world’ into the void. Thank you for the tireless encouragement and that humbling patience with which you embrace me in my every waking moment.





Self-Assurance

13 10 2009

I never knew this simple phrase would jolt me back into this little world of mine.. Often what you take for granted is the one that requires utmost focus. Feels as if the music played on when I was napping.. Life crawled in slow finesse, whilst I slept unaware. Until.. until someone shook me up and asked my name.

Now what’s in a name? What’s in a name except for a simple attempt to frame an identity. Except for spelling that unique purpose it stands for? Hmm.. Here I am, wondering, what does my name stand for?

I have always taken pride in my this single strong trait of my identity. My confidence in my ability and my trust in my judgment has always been the guiding force in my life. No matter how strong the persuasiveness of life is, my spine has always been straight. What would you do when the whole world stands against you and screams against your conscience and best judgment? Whose side would you take? Would you hold on and stand for what you deem right, or would you give up yourself for the sake of acceptance? Sounds like a tough choice, isn’t it? Somehow I have always believed that One should never leave the side of oneself for the sake of anything, as long as what s/he believes it to be  true. Does this echo with you? Do tell me..

In words better described by Gall-up, which I often look upto..

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Self-Assurance is similar to self-confidence. In the deepest part of you, you have faith in your strengths. You know that you are able — able to take risks, able to meet new challenges, able to stake claims, and, most important, able to deliver. But Self-Assurance is more than just self-confidence. Blessed with the theme of Self-Assurance, you have confidence not only in your abilities but in your judgment. When you look at the world, you know that your perspective is unique and distinct. And because no one sees exactly what you see, you know that no one can make your decisions for you. No one can tell you what to think. They can guide. They can suggest. But you alone have the authority to form conclusions, make decisions, and act. This authority, this final accountability for the living of your life, does not intimidate you. On the contrary, it feels natural to you. No matter what the situation, you seem to know what the right decision is. This theme lends you an aura of certainty. Unlike many, you are not easily swayed by someone else’s arguments, no matter how persuasive they may be. This Self-Assurance may be quiet or loud, depending on your other themes, but it is solid. It is strong. Like the keel of a ship, it withstands many different pressures and keeps you on your course.

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Counting Life By Moments..

9 10 2008

People don’t last forever, sometimes neither relationships do. Yet, its just memories and moments that make us truly alive are those that last forever, or atleast till we do.

Why?

I guess we all know the answer at the subconscious level, yet it does take a conscious effort to acknowledge, understand and give our life and every living moment to the moment.

Can we design our destiny or rule our fate?

I doubt it very much. Yet, we do hold a control of the passing moments and have the power in our hand to transform them into magical memories for the life time. Just a small thought in this direction really showed me things in a new light and hence it became a resolution for this festival period.





Comfort Zones..

7 09 2008

Those are big words. They are also the most often used/abused words in my dictionary. You would often catching me rolling it off with a careless regard oft to myself and often in generic conversations that go around the world.

Come think of it, there are many things that offer comfort in moments of insanity drives. It could be a pack of chocolates, a piece of soothing music, my favorite workspace, or the cozy comfort of an enjoyable book that often comes to rescue offering serene solitude and sweet freedom in the world of my own making. Yet, Cooing up long enough in those little spaces can make one forget the terrible purpose of being for it hinders the ability to dare and heed to the passion call to risk everything for something that we hold close to heart.

Sometimes I feel as if I am so away from my own self that it takes me a while to call for rescue. What so often made for lingering comfort couldn’t assert its existence anymore. Of all the paradoxical pursuits of life, have you ever experienced this urge to deny those little alcoves of comfort in search of something whose essence you haven’t grasped so far?





Midnight Musings..

10 08 2008

I would start by telling you how special these are for me for I rarely meet midnights in eye. Probably I can count those days on fingers when I really waited for the darkness to envelop me in tranquility at the darkest of hour. One of those moments of tranquiliy where I am content with the company of me and myself. Its 2 AM right now and I feel so good to be awake to keep the company of myself. I’m suffering from a heady mix of movie overdose, weariness thats creeping into the head after watching 3 movies back to back just to drive maddening thoughts out of my system, and a strange sense of solitude. I cherish this rare experience.

I am surprised at myself Though. Why is this zeal to drive oneself to the edge, just to test the limit of my endurance?





Dreams….

30 07 2008

Haunted by my dreams, this post is a result of midnight musings, after I soothed my frayed nerves by a short chat with my papa. These days I realized that dreams are my deepest desires which I have never acknowledged. Its like those persistant voices which never got a chance, and hence they manifest in the eerie visions of the dreamland when our resistance to logically refute is at all time low. Most of the things I dream are either about things that I heard of, or things that I want to happen or stories that I read somewhere. Those some of these often take me by surprise, they would laos make me believe that I am what I dream. But dreaming alone won’t achieve what I long for, right? May be I don’t live my dreams because I live my fears. May be, I magnify my fears with the thinking mind and lull the heart’s desire with cold reason.

My experience of dreams goes a long way back.. Most of my dreams weave those ‘what if’ sequences about the opportunities that life presents. Some of them could be about me visualizing how would it look if I try bungee jumping or about how would life be in a different career, or about how is an ordinary day in a new environment. Yet, these are what make me come to terms with my anxieties and facts of lifewhile making me comfortable with the fear from the unknown.

And there are those creative dreams either about the stories I heard, movies I partly saw or books that I read somewhere. One of those vivid childhood dreams that stayed with me, is this dream of Ramayana, that started from where the Hanuman brings the sanjeevani to the end of war. I distinctly remember this, for I stayed long in bed so that this dream finds its end. Well, there are dreams where I played wild roles, like a daredevil detective, or a super woman, but let me assure you, these are quite rare. Its been long time since I played the batwoman. 🙂 Yet, the kick of these dreams lies in the way I could manipulate those sequences, or even create them to my satisfaction.

And then there are those dreams that helped me overcome my fears. In childhood, I have always been afraid of things like loosing family members or snakes. I am not sure if I overcome any of those fears. But I remember those dreams which made me run till I made a choice to pick a stick and fight or those that portrayed loss of loved ones and taught me to appreciate their value in life.

But of all these dreams that I had, I never felt as if I am an inactive participant. I have always, (ok, I concede) most of the times, been able to direct my dream to my desired end or end it before it turns wild. May be that’s why I never had such a predominant nightmare which became a permanent memory.

Somehow I believe that dreamland is the space where we touch the threshold of our potential and visualize the realization of our deepest desires. Some stop there, reveling in the beauty of their dreams and basking in vicarious satisfaction; while some hold on and make it a reality in this material world.

I don’t think I have a theory about what I dream, but somehow writing about them did lighten my thought at this late hour. If you are reading this, tell me about your dreams. Would love to hear about the extent and expanse of your imagined universe. Even if you don’t want to talk about it in public space, it’s ok. At least acknowledge them to yourself in solitude, else you would end up being haunted by dreams, just the way I was.

P.S. Whenever I think of dreams, I couldn’t help but muse on here, for in vague sense, it gives me hope.





Mush Movie Marathon

29 07 2008

Serendipity

Serendipity: a fortunate accident, or lucky discovery, we all believe in them in some point of time. Fate, or Destiny, sometimes it feels so right to leave life to them and be driven in the flow.

Serendipity, this movie lives up to its tagline: Destiny with a sense of humor. To cut a sweet story short, this movie is about two strangers who share a beautiful evening on a Christmas eve, decide to test the destiny by leaving clues that travel around the world. Though each have their own respective fiancé, they couldn’t get the beauty of that encounter out of their heart, and so begins a frantic search to locate each other. When they are about to give up their wild goose chase and get back to the routine life, we realize that destiny had different plans for them.

Do watch this movie to share a few laughs. I loved this obituary that Dean writes for his friend.

“Dean: Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. “Things were clearer for him,” Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call “fatum”, what we currently refer to as destiny.”

A Walk to Remember

Wonder, beauty, joy and love, guess they sum up the essence of this movie. Life, hope and the long journey ahead, all that and more find their place in this soulful movie. This movie made me revisit faith. This movieholds a beautiful example of what an ounce of faith could accomplish: Magic. Faith, such small word, yet how powerful! it forever continues to shine and touch the soul like nothing else could.

The entire movie can be summed up in this Landon’s confession: “Jamie has faith in me, she makes me wanna be different, to be better.”

Its been sometime since I saw a movie that runs like a beautiful poetry. It feels good to be alive, to feel pain, and to cry my heart out. Do watch this for some sweet time, and don’t blame me if your heart turns heavy.

The Notebook


“I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”

And so starts this movie, and flows like a serene river of love. Watching this movie made me realize how pale its remake ‘U, Me and Hum’ was. This movie is a beautiful capture of a summer romance that lit the lives of a couple of teenage kids Allie and Noah. After being separated for years by protective parents, Allie discovers Noah on a chance encounter and finds that her feelings are alive. Ala M&B style, Allie chooses her first love Noah over her fiancé and then they lived happily ever after until death claimed them. People may claim it as a usual dramatic movie, yet for me its a remarkable film.

P.S: Do check these movies out when you care for a little dream and a little hope. Am sure they don’t disappoint you.