Indian Eccentricities..

Another in series of forwarded wisdom – titled “Some Facts about an Incredible Indian”.. Some of them are really intriguingly true. 🙂

___________________________________
1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)
8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says “No Food Allowed”
10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other “Uncles and Aunties” will think.
14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.
15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.
24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
28. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.
30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.
31. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
33. It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

_________________________________

Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns..

This is truly Hilarious! 🙂

******************************

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for Twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs…. Schlemiel Usk

And the Response is..

Dear Schlemiel:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.
Sincerely Walter
***************************************************

Jadoo Ki Jhappy..

Dunno why my heart longs for this from the loved ones today. A real chilled morning and I can feel the cold seeping into my soul somehow.

I dream of being perfect in everything I do, trying to put a piece of my soul in every activity. Sometimes, it feels so close, that can I become that little Ms. Perfect. Yet, if I have to be totally realistic, I would like to be really good in everything I ever did or do. And for what sake? To be loved a little more.. Is it what am looking for?

Sometimes, guess this choice always hangs around. Having the courage to quit and bear the tag of loser for being true to oneself or sticking around betraying oneself for the sake of society. These are choices we all have to make at some point in our life. Hoping that I have enough spine to stand up for myself in things that I truly care. In those rare low events, let me pray for some jadoo and some jhappy to last for the life.. 🙂

A little greed doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?

Credit Sharing…

Am just back from a little crib session and this was a hot topic there. How surprising it is to see this issue popping up in so many conversations. Credit Sharing is an important aspect of managing any team structure and I am sad to see many ignore it in their way to glory.

I am not trying to bring in Ayn Rand philosophy of selfishness here as in the current organizational context, in Indian industry, we work with people and the more we grow in our career, the more our success is dependent on the inputs and support offered by the others. Especially in IT industry, where a lot of work is structured around groups and teams, it is even ridiculous to ascribe the credit to a single person in the success of a project. Yet, I see this phenomenon of credit snatching and credit hiding instead of credit sharing. I don’t see any logic in blaming team for failure and appreciating manager for success.

In fact, some of the best leaders I have met in the industry are successful in their career are those who realize the potential of the people working for them and put it to effective use by aiding to their professional and personal growth. Though I hear some say that don’t mix up emotions in professional life, how can it be possible that we are emotionally insensitive to the people around us?

I can sense that people follow leaders, not the rule books. Please be the guiding hand to those you work with, making sure that they don’t need anything instead of dictating their lives and taking credit for their efforts. A little bit of recognition can do wonders for motivation levels and the work environment. And all those entry level people, it also means acknowledging the existence of the security personnel or those receptionists instead of treating them like pieces of furniture. A little pat on the back, a gentle smile or a small nod can do wonders, trust me.

I Got My Rainbow..

I have shouted this over phone and my friend couldn’t stop giggling.. Sounds a little quirky, isn’t it? Well, who can get a rainbow of their own, by the way? There is a little story behind it. I was trying to change the header of my blog on Saturday. (Oh yeah, I had a lot of time to kill 😉 ) The earlier one has little kids soaking up rain with little umbrellas and now I wanted a new look..

After doing a little hunt, I hit upon the current picture. It looked a little plain and I wanted to add a splash of a rainbow. So here a little confession follows.. I have always loved rainbow ever since I discovered its beauty in wilderness as a little kid. Such splash of myriad hues each conveying a different warmth in the huge expanse of sky filled my eyes in wonder.. They is such a rare joy in capturing one that I conjured this belief that it appeared when God smiled to his heart’s content. In fact one of my nicks is Iris.

I went all around the Web to steal a rainbow for this pic. As I didn’t have Photoshop, I worked on MS PowerPoint 2007, and tweaked the picture edit tools to soften the edges of a rainbow and grouped it with the other image. And when it worked and my header is glowing in all splendor is when I yelled, hey I got my rainbow, following it up with a hearty giggle in a dash of madness! Am glad that I had a friend to share it over the phone.. Happiness looks so small when I hold it in my heart, it’s when I share it that I realize its breadth.. I thought I would record that little touch of joy and that Eureka moment @ demand of that pal who shared my fun.

Happy Ganesha Chaturdhi..

This is a very special festival in both family and cultural aspects as never a year rolled by when I haven’t prayed Ganesha in this occasion. Ganesha is one of my favorite Gods, as he is so much malleable to creativity. He get the first prayers as he is the one who guides opportunities by eradicating the obstacles. (So as the mythology goes).

This is an old forward, yet it was so current in my memory that I hunted it down to share it with you all.

I celebrated this year with my family friends and as I was enjoying the puja it struck me how much these rituals create the bonding of being together with the family. Whenever this festival arrives and wraps me in a humdrum of activity, I cant help but take a trip down the memory lane.. Reliving all those days of hectic shopping for the idol and flowers, Troubling Mamma for new books, Drawing Om on the book covers, Setting up the Mandapa, Dressing up in new clothes, The humdrum in the kitchen, Chanting of the sloka, Ardent avoiding of the moon and so on.. All those moments flash live they are still alive and are happening now.

Sometimes somethings sound plain stupid to the naked eye, yet they have a lot of depth behind it. The entire personification of God and treating him with flowers, dressing him up, and offering food in a particular process may sound tiring and ridiculous, yet I love the effect of peace it creates in the mind, the feeling of unity in entire family helping each other in getting things done, and the visits of the relatives and friends and the community bonding.. Sometimes I feel as if there is a meaning behind everything and everything has a meaning.. It may be hazy to figure it out in an instance yet, it doesn’t stop me from believing.

These rituals are just not about religious beliefs, they are about uniting everyone under simple purpose and activity, and sharing common memories through procedures and protocols. How much I love them!

Splash Of Yellow!

I noticed this magnificent beauty on Besant Nagar roads yesterday. Its such a visual treat to watch such a splendid display of yellow, as if it stood to rain energy and warmth on the inviting land assuring one of the alluring things that are going to come. As Chennai gears up to receive monsoon, I hope there will be more such lovely dash of colors to come. Guess I did an OK job in capturing it, for the ethereal experience I had watching this couldn’t be represented in this paler photograph. Still I tried! By the way, does anyone know the name of this tree?

Relishing Life!

The exhortation of the dawn is so pleasant.. The day breaks slowly to welcome sunshine and rain warmth and hope in all brightness. Early mornings are so friendly and cheerful, espicially when the wind carries the invigorating fragrance of fresh coffee, evocating primulas, coral jasmines and the blending of soothing music if I managed to switch the player on. I love to stand in that little corner of my balcony trying to imbibe the freshness of the moment. Soon my heart longs for that cuppa and a dose of ET, so I saunter to pick the newspaper and the milk. Sipping the piping hot tea while indulging in the regular news and dreamy melodies really helps me warm up for the rhythm of the day. Guess thats what relishing life means to me on a perfect morning!

Musings On Collective Wisdom!!!

I have always had this feeling that collective wisdom is an amazing thing. Somehow, the popularity of Wikipedia impresses me.. Guess people Think of all those people who are adding tiny bits of little things that they know so that someone somewhere is benefited! Isn’t that an amazingly selfless thing to do? It reminds me of the squirrels’ role in building that bridge in Ramayan! It reconfirms my belief in the natural goodness of the people..

We have knowledge in bounty loads.. We have really gathered a lot of information through all these years. I believe that all that we ever wanted to know or learn about must be around somewhere in this world, as someone’s knowledge, memory or experience. It’s just a matter of finding it which makes a world of difference to someone’s quest. Guess that’s why the googles of the world are so popular. Yeah, I would give them all the credit on the earth for making knowledge more accessible..

Working for the past two years, I really appreciate what a valuable enterprise search engine and a proper knowledge management system can do to a mammoth organization. Probably it would almost reduce 5o % of work as it would reduce the chances of recreating, reinventing and redefining the existing process or work. Think of how much time that would save? Am already dreaming!

Yet, the key component out here is not some software but the people who will come and share their core knowledge in open. Well, am not saying the word ‘give’ as the key here is ‘to share’. To share without restriction, in openness and perhaps without taking credit! How many are willing to do that in corporate world where one is defined by the privileged information one holds? That’s a Big Question! It always boils down to the work environment and the organizational culture. An organization can have a great blogging platform, and still end up with zero contributors. When the Internet is overwhelmed by the Web2.0, 3.0 ..n.0 , there are only muted whispers in the enterprise world. This surely demand some soul searching though!

A Special Visit By A Little Friend!

Yesterday, we had a special visitor at our home. I was all pious and am reading a hindu religious tome called Gurucharitra (Courtesy: Mom) and then there she is, gracing my bed corner and sitting royally on my pillow. I went hesitantly by her side and she breezily jumped on to my fingers. Such a tender little young sparrow… I loved the feel of her on my hand!

I called out for my sister to shut all the fans off in the house. She rushed by my side with a name ready for my little friend. She called her Bittu over the name of her lost friend and bought Kaju Barfi and a bowl of water to greet her. Me and my sister were really fussing over this little visitor and my mom rushed in with loads of warm advice.

‘Let her go, her family would find her’

‘Place her in front of mirror so that she would preen’

‘Hunt for her parents, they must be searching for her’ and so on..

I felt a lot of swirling emotions inside me. I know that its a cruel thing to hold her and that it may damage her plumage. I let her go and then I realized that she is a proper kiddo and cant fly more than a short distance. I was concerned and scared for her. Well, that particular childhood memory of a little sparrow getting hurt due to a fan while flying didn’t comfort me either. I scooped her on my palm and went out to take a walk around the home. Hey, her parents are waiting for her on the big fat tree thats in front of my home. Bittu flew to her parents side and the whole family is squeaking again! Capturing that tender moment, me and my sis ran inside and gave a real bear hug to Mamma.

Finally everybody is home to their loved ones! 🙂

Moments of Quiet Laughter..

Well, on an impulsive moment (guess must be some divine insight!), my dad has decided that I need a makeover! He picked up a comb and went into business!

I thought that’s an incredibly sweet moment,
Especially when my dad is at his creative best, concocting some utterly comic coiffures..
Especially when mom is trying to be politely encouraging when all she wanted to do is roll in gales of laughter,
Especially when I was confused in deciding the expression: do I laugh at the outcome or be indignant that my hairstyle is commented upon..
Especially when the mirror is reflecting this affectionate domestic scenery where two people are dying in quiet laughter watching the touching concentration and crinkled expression on the face of my dad!

Great Laws!

Some of those inevitable, ironically plausible laws of life! Whenever I got through them, they sound so true!!

Jone’s Motto:
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

O’brien’s Variation:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Conway’s Law:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

The Peter Principle:
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

H.L.Mencken’s Law:
Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach

Martin’s Extension:
Those who can’t teach, administer

Belani’s Extrapolation:
Those who cannot even administer, become consultants.

Lieberman’s Law:
Everbody lies; but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

Kovac’s Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Van Herpen’s Law:
The solving of the problem lies in finding the solvers.

Ruby’s Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Young’s Law:
Great discoveries are made by mistake.

Kin Hubbard:
A good listener is usually thinking about something else

One Anonymous Great Seer’s Law:
Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

Can You Identify With This?

Again a forward! Yet Worth Pondering

********************

Being Twenty-Something

…Its really hard
They call it the “Quarter-Life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are any things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that maybe, those friends that you thought were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean, or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job…and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.

One night stands and random hookups start to look cheap. GETTIN WASTED AND ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT STARTS TO LOOK PATHETIC. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, and the future and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

********************

The classic Indirect Proposal..

**************************************

BOY: I need someone to talk to ..
GiRL: I`m alwayz here for you.
BOY: I know.
GiRL: Whatz wrong?
BOY: I like her *s0o* much..
GiRL: Talk to her.
BOY: I don`t know.. she`ll never like me.
GiRL: Don`t say that. You`re amazing.
BOY: I just wanna tell her how I feel ..
GiRL: Then tell her.
BOY: She won`t like me.
GiRL: How do you know that?
BOY: I can just tell.
GiRL: Well, just tell her.
BOY: What should I say?
GiRL: Tell her how much you like her.
BOY: I tell her that daily.
GiRL: What youu mean?
BOY: I’m alwayz with her. I love her.
GiRL: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he`ll never like me.
BOY: Wait. Who do you like?
GiRL: Ooh, some boy..
BOY: Ooh, she won`t like me either.
GiRL: She does.
BOY: How do you know.. ?
GiRL: Because who wouldn`t like you?
BOY: You..
GiRL: You`re wrong. I love you.
BOY: I love you too.
GiRL: .. so are you going to talk to her?
BOY: I just did.

**************************************

Got this as a forward. Somehow I feel that this conversation depicts the hesitation, self-doubt and love quite convincingly.

Love Stories..

Its nice to read some love stories at times.. They give such nice hope and they talk of so much optimism. I like the idea that there is someone who cares for you, even if it can be a myth. Its just that feeling,”Pal bhar keliye koi hame Pyaar karle, Jhoota hi sahi!”

This is a good story which I have received today as a forward. Hope you like it too.

A SWEET LOVE STORY

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.

They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home.. Suddenly he asked the waiter: “would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.”

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby?

He replied: “when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea , just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there”. While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home.. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life… And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that’s the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: “My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication!

I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life!

Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want t o know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again”. Her tears made the letter totally wet.

Someday, someone asked her: what’s the taste of salty coffee?
It’s sweet. She replied.

love is not 2 forget
but 2 forgive
not 2 c but understand
not 2 hear but 2 listen
not 2 let go but HOLD ON !!!!

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. Being loved by someone gives u strength, being in love with someone deeply gives u courage!!!