Something Amiss..

13 07 2008

As a sheer wave of nostalgia hits me in this sunny Sunday afternoon, I couldn’t help but muse on all those lovely moments of my life.. Yes, Indeed I miss

  • Those Hasty Bicycle rides to School
  • Climbing Guava and Mango trees in search of sweet temptations
  • Those Hide and Seek Games that filled lazy afternoons
  • Summer Time.. Umm.. Mango eating competitions in the village backyards.. Yummy!
  • Hosting Bicycle Championships around the village roads
  • Inventing creative reasons for missing classes
  • Those innocent dreams of Ramayan, Snakes and Shaktiman
  • Those days of ‘Chitrahaar’ and ”Doordarshan’ sans remote control
  • Bending rules with childhood pals, my partners in crime
  • Those summer rains and the lighthearted frolic on the terrace
  • The sheer joy of growing up, and the academic rigmarole

Umm.. How I long for a little drizzle of joy or a time machine… Suddenly this whole business of playing the adult isn’t that appealing any more.





Love Hath Neither Limit Nor Reason…

17 06 2008

For love lies in that irrational tear that swells in your eye in those moments of goodbye even when mind acknowledges that she is never far in those lingering thoughts, or gentle phone calls. That’s the feeling that lingers in mind after some great moments of companionship with my little sis in Bangalore. And thats the reason for these ten days of hiatus from virtual world too, for being with her rarely leaves me with brooding moments. Now that she has left to home town, and I have to grapple with this aching hollow in my heart, I can’t help but muse on those mundane days that I spent with her which are turned into wonderful moments by her sheer presence. She is my partner in crime in those silly adventures, a perfect companion in silence when the mood calls for soothing numbness, a quiet bolster in raw moments of pain, a dearest pal and confidante for sharing those secrets and introspections, and the best gift that God has offered me in life.

As I have seen her grow from that little bundle of joy in my arms to a smart and mature lady, I can only cherish all those tender moments of the fierce relationship that we share. Probably the beauty of this lies in that tacit acceptance of one as oneself in each other’s company, or that sheer intensity of that love and affection that springs from an eternal bond that unites us in rain and shine, or that quiet companionship and gentle bliss that envelops one in that secured cloak of love, and respect. I may not figure in those lists of greatest sisters of the world, for my sins are many, right from being absent in those moments when she wished my presence to missing her birthday due to a hailstorm of work, yet if there is one thing that I have to site as one perfect truth of my life, it’s that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Whatever heights she may conquer, she would still remain that little sweet kiddo who creates that warm glow at heart with her cheerful presence.

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Somehow, whenever I think of her, CR’s this post plays in mind. After hunting this poem umpteen times in her blog, I am posting it here to cherish it a little more.

You’re older now
And no more the kid that I call you,
In many ways, more mature than I could ever be
Perhaps it’s the way of life
That an elder sibling be so lost and awestruck
With the hustle and bustle around
That she needs that smarter kid
Tugging her along and protecting her
From the surprises on the road ahead.

I smile when people point you out to me
And admit that they thought you were older
For the simple reason, you have always seemed so dignified and in control,
Little did they see the little hellion and scamp
That I saw while growing up,
The little one always so in scrapes
And yet, one who would rush to my rescue

Trying to pry me away from books to introduce me to the world,
I know that now you too belong among us bibliophiles,
And as I have changed you,
You have changed my nature,
Taught me independence and confidence when the stakes are down
That little strut that adds to the image
Keeping my head high even when the dice is rolling

You have taught me to love and forgive
And perhaps, most important of all,
You have taught me humility,
For one year is all that parts us,
And yet, you are so much the wiser
That I still have so much to learn

But now, more than ever
I want to weave a cocoon around you
And hold you close and keep you safe,
But that would only hamper your flight
And I know I must step back
And watch and learn as you take your steps
And leave your mark on all around,
I love you, kiddo
And have a safe flight this year!!!





Reasoning With Life..

16 11 2007

Sweetheart.. Reason it out.
Be Sensible. Apply Logic.

Does these terms sound familiar? I guess many of us prudent individuals have heard or said this quite often at times, however so futile the situation may seem. Let me be a candid confessor here. I have given up on logic in personal space. However mature I may feel or behave, I know that nothing works on reason or logic especially in relationships. Emotions stand for no reason and love heeds to no advice. Somehow I enjoy that drama that unfolds whenever we deal with relationships. Guess that sheer touch of madness is what makes us sane otherwise.

I have seen many individuals make a fool of themselves in their pursuits. And many more who build ego walls based on false premises to battle their affections. I wonder how many would ponder over this fact.. But when the judgment day arrives, we still count the number of lives we touched or the lasting bonds that we built as our accomplishments. Guess being on the top holds no worth if there are no one around to share the joy.. Yet, I guess our typical tendency is to pursue unworthy things with all fervor with disregard to those pursuing us. Hmmmm.. Reasoning with life never works..





A Special Visit By A Little Friend!

5 06 2007

Yesterday, we had a special visitor at our home. I was all pious and am reading a hindu religious tome called Gurucharitra (Courtesy: Mom) and then there she is, gracing my bed corner and sitting royally on my pillow. I went hesitantly by her side and she breezily jumped on to my fingers. Such a tender little young sparrow… I loved the feel of her on my hand!

I called out for my sister to shut all the fans off in the house. She rushed by my side with a name ready for my little friend. She called her Bittu over the name of her lost friend and bought Kaju Barfi and a bowl of water to greet her. Me and my sister were really fussing over this little visitor and my mom rushed in with loads of warm advice.

‘Let her go, her family would find her’

‘Place her in front of mirror so that she would preen’

‘Hunt for her parents, they must be searching for her’ and so on..

I felt a lot of swirling emotions inside me. I know that its a cruel thing to hold her and that it may damage her plumage. I let her go and then I realized that she is a proper kiddo and cant fly more than a short distance. I was concerned and scared for her. Well, that particular childhood memory of a little sparrow getting hurt due to a fan while flying didn’t comfort me either. I scooped her on my palm and went out to take a walk around the home. Hey, her parents are waiting for her on the big fat tree thats in front of my home. Bittu flew to her parents side and the whole family is squeaking again! Capturing that tender moment, me and my sis ran inside and gave a real bear hug to Mamma.

Finally everybody is home to their loved ones! 🙂





Moments of Quiet Laughter..

4 06 2007

Well, on an impulsive moment (guess must be some divine insight!), my dad has decided that I need a makeover! He picked up a comb and went into business!

I thought that’s an incredibly sweet moment,
Especially when my dad is at his creative best, concocting some utterly comic coiffures..
Especially when mom is trying to be politely encouraging when all she wanted to do is roll in gales of laughter,
Especially when I was confused in deciding the expression: do I laugh at the outcome or be indignant that my hairstyle is commented upon..
Especially when the mirror is reflecting this affectionate domestic scenery where two people are dying in quiet laughter watching the touching concentration and crinkled expression on the face of my dad!





The Great Indian Family!

1 06 2007

Today I chanced to see Om Jai Jagdish, a hindi movie that’s centered on the love and affection among three brothers (Om, Jai and Jagdish) in a highly romantic Indian setting. It’s a beautifully crafted Indian movie, which brings out the positive and the idealistic side of a principled family whose love and affection for one another is second to none. Waheeda Rahman is a widow who brings up her three sons in her family estate with lots of love and affection. Anil plays the role of a non-imposing, ever-loving and self-sacrificing big brother character pretty well and Abhishek Bachchan practically lives the role of a carefree young brother. Well, one could always say that it’s just another feel good sort of movie with a clichéd ending that love alone will be triumphant. Yet, the fact that I have watched it a couple of times and yet I stuck glued to the television shows how much I loved that movie.

It made me ponder on the values that Indian family setting imbibes in an Individual. Also, this movie highlights the attachment that a family has for the family home. It rings quite true for me, as when you grow up or live in a house which we call home, its not just brick and mortar anymore. It houses our fond memories and is a living reminder of the beautiful joys in life.

Its true that there is subtle politics that comes into play in a joint family kind of environment, where one has to be socially correct and politically appropriate to those relations involving authority or power.. It could be your grand dad with a cane in his hand or it could be your mother in law with an indirect nag. Pretenses to be maintained, respect to be kept. Yet, all these people carry a weight of responsibility which may be big for their shoulders. Being figureheads or the actual Dons of the family, they may have to keep their family’s interest above theirs at most of those times. And they play it with so much ease, as if they are honored to live the responsibility at any cost! It all comes for a price!

I don’t know whether people in Indian family settle for one another. Yet, I know that love and trust comes so easily to us. We accept people in all totality with such gullible warmth, mother them with over flowing concern and ensconce them with love and affection. The fiercely passionate way in which each family stands for one and one for all is worth paying a tribute for. Long live family culture!





If Tomorrow Never Comes…

2 05 2007

I thought I would share my favorite song over here. I have loads of such songs, and this one steals the show for today!

This lyrics fascinate me as I sing them aloud in my heart.. They make me reflect on my priorities in life.. Though Ronan Keating refers to his sweetheart in this song, I would would say my love encompasses all those cherished people in life. Love forms the basis for all the relationships and I would count my blessings if those most precious people in my life accept me for what I am and know that I care for them.

Makes me wonder if I have been transparent in my feelings towards my loved ones, the most treasured people in my life : one who taught me that I could love someone so much: my sweet little Sister, my tower of strength: Mom, an eternal idealist: Dad, A life lived in values: my grand parents, and friends. Really, if tomorrow never comes, will they understand how much I loved or cared for them? Will they ever know how much of my life revolved around them, for their acceptance, love, care, concern and affection?

People ask me what’s important for me? Is it being a top notch, high flying executive someday or being there for my loved ones always? Throughout my life I am trying my best to strike that balance. Career is part of my life, my identity and my independence where as love is the basis on which my life runs. Guess the pride that my little sister has when she boasts that my sister will always pick my call no matter where she is, is of tantamount importance for me than some crucial corporate meeting any day. Coz, I believe in my capabilities of hunting a good job, but I am equally confident that I can never in my life time find a sweet, loving person like my sister. After all, family is family. Sounds like a cliche, yet I swear by it. The bond that ties us is not one of blood, but of respect and love. I respect, love, care, adore, dote them, and if God permits, I would love them more after my death as well!

I know this post has rather became a bit heavy.. Yet, I know that we hurt those whom we love most. In those moments of frustration and anger (which might have been caused by some dumb bloke in office who doesn’t matter in our life any way) we use them as our sounding boards, or misuse them to vent out our feelings. Next time, before you do such thing, pause, reflect and the judge the impact of your action. Tall Order, right? I know. I am still trying..

Thanks for being with me till now.. Enjoy the lyrics!

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Lyrics of “If Tomorrow Never Comes” By Ronan Keating

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She’s lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you’re thinking of
If tomorrow never comes