What it takes to be Number One..

19 06 2013

I read this today and I want to tuck this forever. Below speech by Vince Lombardi is what I exactly would wish to hear if I am facing a football match. 🙂

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“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while; you don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all of the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.

Every time a football player goes to ply his trade he’s got to play from the ground up – from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come off the field second.

Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization – an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win – to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.

It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there – to compete. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules – but to win.

And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.

I don’t say these things because I believe in the ‘brute’ nature of men or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour — his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear — is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.”





The Boiling Frog Syndrome

5 06 2013

Out of those many and many thoughts in forwarded wisdom, this story stuck. And may be it did echo to some thought that I read last month. How do you tell a difference between a sacrifice and a compromise? At the cost of sounding trite, let me quote their definitions: Sacrifice is an act of offering something up for a higher purpose, whilst compromise is something that we give up as an act of appeasement for a lower purpose. I just wonder about the many times when we confuse both of them and let a compromise masquerade in the cloak of sacrifice.

Life is all about going with the flow. There are times that demand us to be flexible, responsive and adaptable to change. Be it a new relationship in life where you make those little concessions or be it at work where you get attuned to the change of winds or mandates. How to tell whether to give in or to give up? Read on..

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Human Beings and frogs are the two creatures in nature who have tremendous power to adjust. Put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the water. As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly. The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore. At that point the frog decides to jump out. The frog tries to jump but is unable to do so, because it lost all its strength in adjusting with the water temperature. Very soon the frog dies.

What killed the frog? Many of us would say the boiling water.

But the truth is what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out.

We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to face. There are times when we need to face the situation and take the appropriate action. If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally or financially, they will continue to do so. We have to decide when to jump. Let us jump while we still have the strength.

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.





Some Reason to Smile…

19 06 2008

Some Joke that I read today! It did leave me with gales of laughter though!

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These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake…

MONDAY: For sale – Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 9840716581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth’s ad yesterday. It should have read, ‘One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 9840716581 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.’

WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
‘For sale – Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 9840716581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.

THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

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On Lame Excuses….

14 05 2008

“Never Offer Lame Excuses”..

That was some advice that’s offered by my teacher during my school days that stood the test of the time. This article that I received today in email made me think for some time on the excuses that we mouth at the simplest opportunity.

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Excuses, Excuses
by Marshall Goldsmith, Ph.D.

When Bill Clinton published his best-selling memoir in 2004, he knew he would have to deal with the Monica Lewinsky scandal during his second term. He did so by explaining it as a personal failure, a yielding to private demons.

“Once people reach the age of accountability, no matter what people do to them, that is not an excuse for any mistakes they make. I was involved in two great struggles at the same time: a great public struggle over the future of America with the Republican Congress and a private struggle with my old demons. I won the public one and lost the private one,” Clinton said.

“I don`t think it`s much more complicated than that. That`s not an excuse. But it is an explanation, and that`s the best I can do.”

Clinton understood the distinction – and not just because his behavior was inexcusable. There is simply no excuse for making excuses.

When you`re late to an appointment and you hear yourself saying, “I`m sorry I`m late but the traffic was murder,” stop at the word “sorry.” Blaming traffic doesn`t excuse the fact that you kept people waiting. You should have started earlier. You certainly won`t have to apologize for: “I`m sorry I`m early, but I left too soon and the traffic was moving along just fine.”

If the world worked like that, there would be no excuses.

I like to divide excuses into two categories: blunt and subtle. The blunt, “dog ate my homework” excuse sounds something like this: “I`m very sorry I missed our lunch date. My assistant had it marked down for the wrong day on my calendar.”

Translation: “You see, it`s not that I forgot the lunch date. It`s not that I don`t regard you as so important that lunch with you is the unchangeable, non-negotiable highlight of my day. It`s just that my assistant is inept. Blame my assistant, not me.”

The problem with this type of excuse is that we rarely get away with it – and it`s hardly an effective leadership strategy. After reviewing thousands of 360-degree feedback summaries, I have a feel for what qualities direct reports respect and don`t respect in their leaders. I have never seen feedback that said, “I think you are a great leader because I love the quality of your excuses,” or, “I thought you screwed up, but you really changed my mind after you made that excuse.”

The more subtle excuses appear when we attribute our failings to some genetic characteristic that`s apparently lodged in our brains. We talk about ourselves as if we have permanent genetic flaws that can never be altered.

You`ve surely heard these excuses. Maybe you`ve even used a few of them: “I`m impatient.” “I always put things off until the last minute.” “I`ve always had a quick temper.”

Habitually, these expositional statements are followed by saying, “I`m sorry, but that`s just the way I am.”

It`s amazing how often I hear otherwise brilliant, successful people make willfully self-deprecating comments about themselves. It`s a subtle art because, in effect, they`re stereotyping themselves and using that to excuse otherwise inexcusable behavior.

Our personal stereotyping frequently comes from stories or preconceived notions about ourselves that have been preserved and repeated for years, sometimes going back as far as childhood. These stories may have little or no basis in fact. But they imprint themselves in our minds and establish low expectations that become self-fulfilling prophecies.

The next time you hear yourself saying, “I`m just no good at …,” ask yourself, “Why not?”

This doesn`t just refer to our aptitudes at mathematics or mechanics. It also applies to our behavior. We excuse our tardiness because we`ve been running late all our lives, and our family, friends and colleagues let us get away with it. These aren`t genetic flaws. We weren`t born this way, and we don`t have to be this way.

If we can stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose.

[About the Author: Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. He is the author or co-editor of 22 books, including The Wall Street Journal No. 1 business best-seller What Got You Here Won`t Get You There.]

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Indian Eccentricities..

27 03 2008

Another in series of forwarded wisdom – titled “Some Facts about an Incredible Indian”.. Some of them are really intriguingly true. 🙂

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1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)
8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says “No Food Allowed”
10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other “Uncles and Aunties” will think.
14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.
15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.
24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
28. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.
30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.
31. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
33. It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

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Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns..

14 03 2008

This is truly Hilarious! 🙂

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Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for Twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs…. Schlemiel Usk

And the Response is..

Dear Schlemiel:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.
Sincerely Walter
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The Last Lecture..

6 03 2008

Here is an attempt to share something I really loved.

Do make time (about 12 mins) and view this lecture of life time by Randy Pausch.
http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=ithct48cqw

The unabridged version is available here.

for those who can’t view the video, here is the transcript
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/Randy/pauschlastlecturetranscript.pdf

For the man who claims, “I’ve never understood pity and self-pity as an emotion. We have a finite amount of time. Whether short or long, it doesn’t matter. Life is to be lived.”, I salute his spirit.





Some Reason to Cheer

5 03 2008
Its rare for some mail to light my face with a ear long grin and a hearty chuckle. This forward managed to do just that. 😉
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Her Diary

Today night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong – he said, “Nothing.”

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love u, too.”

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed.

I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

His Diary

Today India lost the cricket match against Bangladesh . Damn it!

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Devil’s Most Used Instrument…

29 01 2008

This little story is most profound as it sinks in the thought. I couldn’t help sharing it!

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It was advertised that the devil was going to put his tools up for sale. On the date of the sale, the tools were placed for public inspection; each tool being marked with its sale price. They were a treacherous lot of implements… Hatred, Envy, Jealousy, Deceit, Lying, Pride, and so on.

Laid apart from the rest was a harmless looking tool, that appeared to have been heavily used, and was priced very high.

“What is the name of this tool?” asked one of the purchasers, pointing to it.

“That is Discouragement,” replied the devil.

“Why have you priced it so high?”

“Because it is more useful to me than all the others. I can pry open and get inside people’s hearts with that when I cannot get near them with my other tools. Once I get inside, I can make them do what I choose. It is badly worn because I use it on almost everyone, since very few people know that it belongs to me.”

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There are some stories which require a moment to read but a life time to comprehend. And discouragement is like a slow poison. Who says language doesn’t matter? One word can lit someone’s face and one moment can change somebody’s life. We love, live, cry, smile, share and care through it. So be careful while using it. Hope you would remember this little story next time when you are tempted to indulge in destructive feedback.





On Possessiveness and Love…

7 12 2007

There is once a popular song in Hindi that sings that ‘Life Is A Song Of Love’.. Always made me pause and reflect. In our attempts to discover and reinvent life through the journey of love, guess many have been tugged by this emotion of possessiveness sometime. I hear many times about this rolling out as a candid confession in conversations. Guess everyone might have heard of this perspective, but when I came across it in my mail box, I couldn’t resist posting it. Coz, there are certain lessons and learnings in life, that demand conscious effort from our side to put them to practice.

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I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: “You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.”

This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand gently open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love. They try to posses, own, demand, and expect… and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

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Sounds such a simple perspective, but how difficult to internalize! I have seen relationships collapse due to a possessiveness overdrive and power struggle. Well, we can never reason out our actions in relationships, but awareness always helps in defining our perspective. Love like joy and cheer is meant to be shared and isn’t limited like a piece of cake. Still, we feel as if we own the person and haggle for our share, how strange!





Some Thought..

6 12 2007

“Whatever we never seem to learn is that the world runs on a few dozen cliche’s. We spend our lives repeating ourselves..”

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Thats the SMS that I received over my mobile from a Pal who loves to capture the beauty of expression from the books he engages with. What struck me is the potency of the thought in that simple statement. How true!

Many a times we are challenged by the circumstances to be true to ourselves.. Though the lessons and knowledge are universal, and we are equipped to deal with the world with enough cliches since childhood, the choices that we make in those moments of life are intensely personal. Choosing right over convenience, love over hatred, sharing over selfishness and honesty over deceit.. These are the choices that make our journey of life intensely personal.. These are the moments that ascertain our purpose of life and define its direction. We indeed spend reaffirming ourselves though the choices we make..

Indeed, life rolls in patterns!





Picture For Thought..

1 12 2007

Here is a beautiful illustration of sacrifice, that made me pause, think and think..How many times have we done stuff that we don’t really care about, thinking that we have an obligation for it? I could never place my opinion on sacrifices more beautifully than this.





Dilbert Managers

14 11 2007

I guess we see a lot of absurdities in the professional world. I love Dilbert’s way of looking at some of those things. This forwarded mail gave me a reason to cheer! On a serious note, it indeed give some food for thought too.. 🙂

This is one of my favorite Dilberts’.. 🙂

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A while ago, a magazine ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking or people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.

Here are some of the submissions:

1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday And employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning entry; Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation in Redmond, WA)

2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? (Programming intern, Microsoft IIS Development team)

4. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company)

5. This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS)

6. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing /3M Corp.)

7. My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn’t edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers)

8. Quote from the boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what ‘I’ say.” (Mktg. executive, Citrix Corporation)

9. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, “That would be better for me.” (Shipping Executive, FTD Florists)

10. We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. (AT&T Long Lines Division)

11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying, “This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above.” (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

12. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!” (New Business Mgr., Hallmark Cards)

13. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company’s training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the “pedagogical approach” used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR Director’s office, and was told that the executive VP wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she couldn’t stand for “perverts” (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired, with the word “pedagogical” circled in red. The HR Manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send to my boss, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out, directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation letter by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)

14. This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated memo from a large communications company: “Lucent Technologies is determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supercede, the expectations of quality!”

15. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them. (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing / 3M Corp.)

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I Wish You Enough..

5 11 2007

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Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, “I love you, and I wish you enough.”

The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.” They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted & needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?”

“Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?”.
“I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is – the next trip back will be for my funeral,” she said.
“When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?”

She began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more.”When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough goo d things to sustain them.” Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them. TAKE TIME TO LIVE…..

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A Story that I love to Share.. To everyone who paused by, I Wish You Enough.





Embracing Imperfection..

27 09 2007

These days I seem to be on a forwarding spree. Yet, I found it quite relevant to ponder upon. Some relationships are for keeps and they indeed effect us in many ways. I see many people going through some crisis or another on that front and unfortunately there is no degree to help you around that corner. Some balance, acceptance, semblance, accommodation and sensibility is demanded from us in such situations. Yet, often thats what we miss in an emotional situation. I like the idea of ‘accepting imperfections’ that resonates in this article by Deb Graham. Do enjoy.

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THE SECRET TO A LASTING MARRIAGE: EMBRACE IMPERFECTION

By Deb Graham

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school.

I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Baby, I love burned toast.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Debbie, your momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides, ­a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!”

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner and the kindness my daddy showed my mom. To this day, it’s a cherished memory from my childhood that I’ll never forget. And it’s one that came to mind just recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.

I had arrived home late… as usual… and decided we would have breakfast food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!

To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began to cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast. Thinking I had things under control, I glanced through the mail for the day. It was only a few minutes later that I remembered that I had forgotten to take the toast out of the oven!

Now, had it been any other day — and had we had more than two pieces of bread in the entire house — I would have started all over. But it had been one of those days; and I had just used up the last two pieces of bread. So burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about the toast. But all I got was a “Thank you!” I watched as he ate bite by bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But instead, all Jack said was, “Babe, this is great. Thanks for cooking tonight. I know you had a hard day.”

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my mom and dad… how burnt toast hadn’t been a deal-breaker for them. And I quietly thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast wasn’t a deal-breaker either!

You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I’m not the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to find out that Jack isn’t the perfect husband! He likes to play his music too loud, he will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he watches far too many sports. Believe it or not, watching “Golf Academy” is not my idea of a great night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the imperfections in each other. Over time, we have stopped trying to make each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our differences. You might say that we’ve learned to love each other for who we really are!

For example, I like to take my time, I’m a perfectionist, and I’m even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a marketer’s dream consumer. I count pennies and Jack could care less! Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice versa.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we’re also very much alike. I can look at him and tell you what he’s thinking. I can predict his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand, he knows whether I’m troubled or not the moment I enter a room.

We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still best friends. We’ve traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many mountaintops. And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every minute of every day to make this thing called “marriage” work!

What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults – and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences – is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage relationship.

And that’s my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn’t a deal-breaker!

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Two Choices..

25 09 2007

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What would you do? You make the choice! Don’t look for a punch line; There isn’t one! Read it anyway. My question to you is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children,the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

“When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. “I believe,that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child.”Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked,”Do you think they’ll let me play?” Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.”

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored agai n. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible ’cause Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!” Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!”
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-base man’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay”

Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third! Shay, run to third” As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, “Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the “grand slam” and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.

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Am quite touched by this story.





Love And Time..

9 09 2007

Here is another forward that I have received a long time back. There is no specific reason to post this apart from the fact that I liked this.  This story brings out quite creatively that time is much needed to appreciate the richness of love.. Muse on..

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Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, “Richness, can you take me with you?” Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, “Vanity, please help me!” “I can’t help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat.” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, “Sadness, let me go with you.” “Oh….Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her! Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come Love, I will take you.” It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.

Love realizing how much he owed the elder and asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who helped me?” “It was Time,” Knowledge answered.

“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?”

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”





A Story On Excellence..

23 07 2007

Here is a story that I wanted to share as it had a grain of truth.. ( Courtesy: Forwards)

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A gentleman was once visiting a temple under construction. In the temple premises, he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he saw, just a few meters away, another identical idol was lying.

Surprised he asked the sculptor, “Do you need two statutes of the same idol”. “No” said the sculptor. “We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage”.

The gentleman examined the sculptor. No apparent damage was visible. “Where is the damage” asked the gentleman.

“There is a scratch on the nose of the idol.”

“Where are you going to keep the idol”.

The sculptor replied that it will be installed on a pillar 20 feet high. “When the idol will be 20 feet away from the eyes of the beholder, who is going to know that there is scratch on the nose?” The gentleman asked.

“The sculptor looked at the gentleman, smiled and said “God knows it and I know it”.

The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not. Excellence is a drive from ”Inside” not ”Outside”.





Sane Advice

9 07 2007

Again a dose of forwarded wisdom. Some of these do’s and don’ts rang close to home and hence I am sharing it with my comments in brackets. Ponder on..

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ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. (Don’t drive yourself to martyrdom and never do anything that you would grade yourself in the category of sacrifice. Wherever you can, offer help with no strings attached in a pleasant disposition. Trust me; you would be delighted with the result! )

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, “I love you,” mean it.

FIVE. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely. (Wear your heart on sleeve; it becomes beautiful by the number of scratches it receives.)

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. (We can really judge the true character of a person after having a real fight with them. Anger has its way of shedding the masks that we carry. )

ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?” (That’s a smart way of handling it rather than lying up front and regretting later! )

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. (Don’t be too cautious, we have all but one life, savor it to the maximum! )

FIFTEEN. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze. (Sounds rather cute, isn’t it?)

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson (Reflection only enriches the experience!)

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship. (Sometimes we have to give in too.. Don’t let pride rule your behavior. )

NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. (One you realize it, acknowledge it.)

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. (I hate to hear dull and drab voice over phone.. )

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone. (Some feelings are so deep that only solitude can help you find them. To cherish and appreciate other’s company, one has to enjoy one’s own company first..)





An Anecdote on Punctuation

1 07 2007

An English professor wrote the words:

” A woman without her man is nothing ”
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly..

All of the males in the class wrote :
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

All the females in the class wrote :
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Punctuation is powerful!! 🙂





Great Laws!

31 05 2007

Some of those inevitable, ironically plausible laws of life! Whenever I got through them, they sound so true!!

Jone’s Motto:
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

O’brien’s Variation:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Conway’s Law:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

The Peter Principle:
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

H.L.Mencken’s Law:
Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach

Martin’s Extension:
Those who can’t teach, administer

Belani’s Extrapolation:
Those who cannot even administer, become consultants.

Lieberman’s Law:
Everbody lies; but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

Kovac’s Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Van Herpen’s Law:
The solving of the problem lies in finding the solvers.

Ruby’s Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Young’s Law:
Great discoveries are made by mistake.

Kin Hubbard:
A good listener is usually thinking about something else

One Anonymous Great Seer’s Law:
Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.





Life is Lost in Race..

4 05 2007

Guess its worth pondering on what are we loosing on in this rat race.. Misguided competition, materialistic pursuits, changing relationships, commonplace goals and diminishing values and rise of timeserver mentality.. All take lion’s share in the rise of noise in our lifestyles..

I often go back to those unadulterated childhood memories in a village where there is a lot of human touch in interactions. A great deal of value is placed in human concern, affection, and sharing, though everyone maintained their boundaries.. Well, here we are, in a border less world, yet we are lonely as ever. Driven by individualism, powered by the new age values of convenience and comfort, we are loosing out on the social interactions. Email, Call, Fax..Inundated by the communication channels, the interaction has become faceless, lacking warmth and touch.

Do we want better cell phones or improved human relations? Do we want increased life span or enhanced quality of life? Bigger homes or space in life? Irony of our times is that we have all the modern comforts at our service and lesser time to enjoy them. We stopped to pause, reflect and appreciate little joys of life and the meaning behind the obvious. As we get swamped and drowned by the new age ideals, the only solace lies in being aware of our actions.

Check these verses which are being circulated as forward.. Worth Contemplating..

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIMES

– Attributed to the Dalai Lama and to George Carlin

Is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints
We spend more, but we have less
We have bigger houses, but smaller families
More conveniences, but less time
We have more degrees, but less sense
More knowledge, but less judgment
More experts, but more problems
More medicines, but less wellness

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often
We have learnt how to make a living, but not a life
We have added years to life, but not life to years
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back
But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour
We have conquered outer space, but not inner space
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice
We’ve higher incomes, but lower morals
We’ve become long on quantity but short on quality

These are the times of tall men, and short character
Steep profits, and shallow relationships
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare
More leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces
Of fancier houses, but broken homes
It is a time when there is much in the show window
And nothing in the stockroom

A time when technology can bring this letter to you
And a time when you can choose
Either to make a difference…. or just hit, delete.





World’s Famously Wrong Predictions

8 12 2006

This is quite an old forwarded wisdom! 🙂 Yet, going through this makes me ponder about the uncertainity of future!

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Lee de Forest, 1926, inventor of the cathode ray tube:
Theoretically, television may be feasible, but I consider it impossibility–a development which we should waste little time dreaming about.

Thomas J. Watson, 1943, Chairman of the Board of IBM:
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

It doesn’t matter what he does, he will never amount to anything. – Albert Einstein’s teacher to his father, 1895

It will be years – not in my time – before a woman will become Prime Minister. – Margaret Thatcher, 1974

This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. – Western Union internal memo, 1876

We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. – Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? – H. M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927

640K ought to be enough for anybody. – Bill Gates, 1981

Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. – Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. – Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

We don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet. – Hewlett-Packard’s rejection of Steve Jobs, who went on to found Apple Computers

King George II said in 1773 that the American colonies had little stomach for revolution.

An official of the White Star Line, speaking of the firm’s newly built flagship, the Titanic, launched in 1912, declared that the ship was unsinkable.

In 1939 The New York Times said the problem of TV was that people had to glue their eyes to a screen, and that the average American wouldn’t have time for it.

An English astronomy professor said in the early 19th century that air travel at high speed would be impossible because passengers would suffocate.

Airplanes are interesting toys, but they have no military value. – Marshal Ferdinand Foch in 1911

With over 50 foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn’t likely to carve out a big slice of the U.S. market. – Business Week, 1958

Whatever happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught napping. – Frank Knox, U.S. Secretary of the Navy, on December 4, 1941

Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau. – Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, October 16, 1929.





Bounceback!!! … Getup and Win the Race!!!

12 12 2004

This is a forward which I have received just now. I really loved the passion and persistence which strongly comes out in this poem. I loved reading it, I hope you will enjoy it too!

THE RACE

“Quit! Give Up! You’re beaten!”
They shout at me and plead.
“There’s just too much against you now.
This time you can’t succeed!”

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failure’s face,
My downward fall is broken by
The Memory of a race.

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene;
For just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being.

A children’s race–young boys, young men
How I remember well.
Excitement, sure! But also fear;
It wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope’
Each thought to win the race.
Or tie for first, or if not that,
At least take second place.

And fathers’ watched from off the side,
Each cheering for his son.
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they went!
Young hearts and hopes afire.
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boy’s desire.

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd,
Was running near the lead and thought:
“My dad will be so proud!”

But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip,
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself
His hands flew out to brace,
And mid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face.

So down he fell and with him hope
He couldn’t win it now–
Embarrassed, sad, he only wished
To disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face,
Which to the boy so clearly said:
“Get up and win the race.”

He quickly rose, no damage done.
Behind a bit, that’s all–
And ran with all his mind and might
To make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win–
His mind went faster that his legs;
He slipped and fell again!!

He wished then he had quit before
with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now;
I shouldn’t try to race.”

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his father’s face.
That steady look which said again:
“Get up and win the race!”

So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last–
“If I”m to gain those yards,” he thought
“I’ve got to move real fast.”

Exerting everything he had
He gained eight or ten
But trying so hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again!

Defeat!! He lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye–
“There’s no sense running anymore;
Three strikes: I’m out! Why try?”

The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away;
So far behind, so error prone;
A loser all the way.

“I’ve lost, so what’s the use,” he thought.
“I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad
Who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” and echo sounded low.
“Get up and take your place;
You were not meant for failure here.
Get up and win the race.”

“With borrowed will, get up,” it said
“You haven’t lost at all,
For winning is no more than this:
To rise each time you fall.”

So up he rose to run once more,
And with a new commit
He resolved that win or lose
At least he wouldn’t quit.

So far behind the others now,
The most he’d ever been–
Still he gave it all he had
And ran as though to win.

Three times he’d fallen, stumbling;
Three times he rose again;
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end.

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place,
Head high, and proud, and happy;
No falling, no disgrace.

But when the fallen youngster
crossed the line last place,
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race.

And even though he came in last
with head bowed low, unproud,
You would have thought he’d won the race
To listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said,
“I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said.
“You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and hard
And difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy
Helps me in my own race.

For all of life is like that race,
With ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win,
Is rise each time you fall.

“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!”
They still shout in my face.
But another voice within me says:
“GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!”