In Memory Of the Real Heroes

Mumbai was in thought, mind and spirit for the past 100 hours. In those moments of heightened and frenzied activity, my emotions were a big kaleidoscope of mixed colors: of denial, anger, blankness, insecurity, helplessness, and agony of loss.

Digesting the mindless madness of this attempt has been the toughest part of the past week. I was praying for the ruthlessness  of the time and mind to commit the horror of the moment to the memory and make me carry on life like business as usual. I guess its the classic escapist nature of the self that lulls one to hope and wish for the better future and life of the countrymen.

Terrorists, Bombs and attacks are not new to us. They are just a part of old news that we deal with in our lifetime. Resilient and united is how our Mumbai janata has always been. They made me proud during the blasts or the floods of the recent times by the way they stood for each other and supported one another. The glorious NSG, Army and Commandos who laid their life on battle to save their fellow countrymen, and those innumerable and countless people of Taj and Oberoi who sacrificed their life in the name of duty, responsibility and honor: You make me proud. You also teach me a lesson in humility, love, respect, honor and duty. I mourn for the senseless loss of you all. May your soul rest in peace and quiet and may your sacrifice remain forever in the mind of people and make way for a positive and better future.

As an Indian, I couldn’t resist myself from quoting this song that’s committed to my memory since childhood days.

‘E Mere Watan Ke Logon, Jara Aankh Me Bharlo Paani
Jo Shaheed Huve Hai Vunki, Jara Yaar Karo Kurbani.’

My eyes are still red with anger, and contempt for the senseless audacity of the monsters and the grief for the destruction of the lives of the people and here we promise that your sacrifice wouldn’t go waste in lighting candles or tea time discussions of Mumbai blasts but would be committed to memory and reflected in actions of our fellow men.

This is time for leadership, for action, and commitment from the Government to take India to the progress and security. Dear leaders, do tell us. Could a better intelligence system have avoided this Mumbai Massacre? Could a better planning would have reduced the heavy loss of life that tolls heavily on the conscience of every Indian? Yes, we Indians are resilient and we would bounce back to life faster. But isn’t it your job to ensure and assure that these incidents wouldn’t repeat and rehash themselves in grisly and morbid frequency. Give us a plan, and not just some shoot off the lip condolences and condemnations. I refuse to believe that India, with its rich intellectual horse power can’t learn from this lesson and make plan for the best intelligence and tracking system to deroot the terrorist network. This is the time of action for us to take a stand tall like determined patriots and contribute our share to the betterment of the environment and society at large. This is the time to take time to reflect, cull the lessons, and make a personal plan for contribution to the enhancement of the security, safety and growth of the team called India.

A note to the Monsters:

What appalled me is the gall of those uncultured, vacuous bigots who could kill with smile and with utter disregard to conscience. I wonder how would your so called God permit this frenzied destruction under a larger purpose. What could be the education of your brainwashed asinine monsters whose doctrines permit the ruthless killing of fellow people with reckless abandon in the name of holy war or some messed up ideology to reserve a seat in heaven. Wah, is this your idea of holy war business? What could be holy in taking on defenceless, unprepared, friendly people by surprise and blowing their brains out in a displaced sense of justice? Oh I forget, you peanut brained guys cant be expected to understand concepts like holy, God and justice. Ever tthought about what does your Heaven look like? A mirror of the destruction you created? Of strewn lambs of your fellow men, of debris of the marvels of creation filled with stench of blood and flesh?

Yeah, right. You guys were making a statement: of your empty headed ideologies, of your debased moral sense, cheap values and of the deviousness of the monstrous actions. Just wake up from perdition and watch for yourself. You wanted to our national monument to bit the dust? You would see the Taj standing proud and tall, living to tell the courageous tale of the ordeal. I can see it back to its feet better and beautiful in weeks. You wanted to instill fear in the heart of the business of India? Go check, for the city of Mumbai is back on its feet, with those crowded metro stations and with tonnes of people making a statement of courage as they brush past the terror and walk up to a purposeful Monday with determination. You wanted to cripple India’s growth? We might miss some tourist dollars, but haven’t you already noticed the the vadapav centres getting busied up on the streets in utter disregard for your brutish actions. Nothing and no-one can stop the tenacity and the persistence of the Indians that make my country. It’s just another day for us, to conquer life and the world at large.

Beastial Brutality…

Something that caught my eye yesterday and rattled me to no end.

“Patna, Aug 28 (IANS) An alleged chain snatcher in Bihar’s Bhagalpur district was battling for life in a hospital after he was beaten by a mob and then two policemen tied him to the back of a motorcycle and dragged him along the ground.

Mohammad Aurangzeb alias Saleem of Nathnagar town in Bhagalpur, about 150 km from here, was first severely beaten with leather belts, rods and stones by people Monday after he was caught on suspicion of snatching a woman’s chain. “

This is the news which was splashed on headlines yesterday and I was so shell shocked by the brutality behind this event that it did take some time for me to soak the event. The brutality of the Cops and the Mob on an suspected chain snatcher reminded me or a painful movie called ‘Clockwork Orange’. I cant help but wonder who is the criminal out there? The one who snatched a chain, the Mob who showed severe brutality to the person or the Cops who took the law into their hands with little regard to humanity, responsibility, or the spirit of law.

Is this the India that we are raving about? What do we expect from people or the convicted if we treat them like this? All this show makes me wonder whether the people who choose to be mean are somehow better than those who wear the savior mask and unleash the animal within when offered a chance.

Who Said Resignation Is Easy?

It did take a lot of struggle, loads of head and heart ache, countless gyan sessions to melt that idea of dream job away. And finally the matter is decided in perfect solitude, over a cuppa, away from the noises of the world, throwing caution and comfort zone out of window.. And thus the event happened out of an instinct! Thanks to a few great pals in TCS, I got my release almost immediately and here I am, back at my easy chair, relishing rare days of unemployment at home before I head to join Accenture in Bangalore..

Goodbyes have always felt awkward and sentimental for me since ages. Its none so different this time. Its so tough to handle them for, I believe that people who matter are never far and those who don’t were never in the picture anyways. Yet, there are things, places, and patterns that can grow on you.. I managed somehow to break free out of it..

When I came to work at TCS, its like a dream come true. Working for Tata Group has always been a cherished idea for me. Guess I fell in love the engaging company culture, quality of work life and especially the down to earth and casual air of the people here. I loved what I did for an year and half.. Yet, there is this nagging need for change, and a persistant sense of direction which provoked me to take a detached view of the career and life in front of me. Finally patience didn’t do the trick. TCS is a great company, yet there aren’t many opportunities that came my way in the area that I choose to be. I am not exactly thrilled by my decision, yet sometimes, I guess its ok to say ‘I have to’ for reasons unknown even to oneself.

All is well in the end. I have had quite a bit of learning by living through this experience of uncertainity. I have made new friends, changed some relationships, gleaned whatever I could and I moved on, away from Chennai: a city which I called home for two years and far from TCS: my first love in the dream company list. No regrets apparently!

Fighting Emptiness..

This is one post which I am waiting to write since past four months yet couldn’t make it as the call of the emptiness is weighing too heavy on my pen. Suddenly I found myself caught in a thoughtless abyss, and I went on treading the fretful path! Wondering about future, managing other’s expectations, taking the easier route and loosing touch of the present…I spoke to my friends and colleagues. Must say that I heard a similar echo everywhere. Struggle for success, fight against unknown competitors, striving to give the best has dwindled the quality of life. Most of the friends I spoke to has nothing more to discuss than job, career and role. And a few had everything to say other than about work! Blogging didn’t engage me and the distance grew between my diary and me. I felt as if I am being sucked in to a crib club. It’s been a truly mad three months for me as a longed for a wild break. I wanted something more. A new challenge, an exciting trip, or a fresh role may be! I thought I had learnt whatever I could and that dampened my spirit. And then started Sowmya’s trials at work. I became less efficient always considering work as duty, and ended up in a self pity soup. Until, realization dawned on me. Am in a unique role where I could do whatever I can, learn whatever I can muster and explore my potential. I had my cake of corporate mktg, event mgmt, business analysis, idea management, and what not? It’s just a gloomy and lonely spell I was under. Wondering about my personal status as a woman and a professional status in life and how do I manage my parents expectations along with that. I took a 10 day break, went home and had a minor break, came back and studied banking and finished a couple of certifications. Took to MS Office 2007, which just simplified my task and opened new avenues in presentations. Currently, am working on a couple of proactive proposals in a rough way. Life is good, as long as it had something new to savor, learn and experience!

A typical MBA frustration!

This is a mail forward I have received. The author, who wishes to remain anonymous, has poured his heart out on the kind of frustration he is experiencing over his job. His mail follows now..

*****Am sitting with the feeling of absolute aaram. No work only aaram, I’m developing this excellent habit of managing time pass effectively soon, i would write a book on effective management of Time pass or 101 ways of better time pass.

The day goes like this:

Soon after reaching their desks, everyone is excited about reading mails and all, once they are done with it, it calls for a round of breakfast with tea coming from there is like a big thing but, then we have after all come for work na?

Staring at the screen gives no clue as to what is expected of u or what ur tasks are anyway, it at least gives the impression, that u r involved in something and thinking about it deeply. Then, no longer than half an hour from breakfast, it calls for a tea session, where the usual topics of Bosses, our company etc. are discussed. Coming from there is like: there is now only a small duration to be passed before we assemble for lunch. Gone for lunch means at least 1hr. or may be more effective time pass. After coming back, the messenger starts and then no turning back, coz laziness grips u, so it feels better to gossip sitting on desks only but its not before long that somebody volunteers for tea, and asks for any more volunteers. Surprise!!! all the laziness is gone suddenly and there is a new wave of chalo chai peene, and what better than terrace for it?

After coming from there, a fresh new wave of excitement grips u that soon it would be 4:45 so, we will go down to canteen, come back at 5:30 or something and leave. But don’t think anyone sits till 4:45 too. every now n then out of nowhere, somebody comes up coz he is not in a mood to work and then suddenly u find, a small group of similar feeling waalas has formed and sounds of laughter emanate. Its 5:45 PM. Yippes. Bhaago. and no turning back. Don’t know where is this going to take us. *****

I felt a little sad reading this mail. It’s a clear example which demonstrates that how lack of initiative can affect the way of life of a person. This is something which usually happens for a typical MBA who ends up in a traditional company. Life is less of challenge, more of patience. I wonder how many are being equipped to deal with it. Everyone has a vision of how his/her life should be. Maintaining balance is absolutely essential. In an IT industry, where the companies have to have surplus capacity to deal with the capricious nature of the clientele, this kind of situations are not rare. The onus lies on the individual to make his own way. That makes the journey more interesting, isn’t it?

Perils of being an Absent-Minder-Part 1.

Yesterday night I realized what could be the disadvantages of being absent minded. It means jogging back to my office at 10 PM and wondering that no one picked up my keys! Yesterday it was very hectic for me at office. (Please don’t stare at me, people in IT companies can be working too!). It was raining cats and dogs in Chennai for the whole day, and believe me, its not a pleasant site because of the water logging on the streets. In Pune, I used to enjoy rains, but nowadays, they became a big issue as they flood the roads in Chennai. I left office at 9 PM and reached home promptly by 9.30 PM only to realize that I forgot my house keys in office. So it was back to office again at 10 PM in rain swearing all sorts of curses which I could mumble for myself! I titled this post as part 1 as I never know when my forgetfulness will make me jog again! Hey! But it was quite enjoyable also. Otherwise I never thought that I would ever jog to my office at night 10 PM!

Chennai Rains!!!

Today is really horrible in Chennai. There is a lot of water clogging and all you could see are the mud puddles and water on the roads. Nothing is particularly visible and with wind blowing harshly, its really difficult to keep your umbrella on your head! Umm, that’s is a near description of what I am facing in Chennai today.

Hope this rains end soon. I somehow managed to wade through the water to reach the office sharp at nine. Only to ruefully grin at myself that the office is completely lonely save a single man who is working at his desk. Some of my project mates reached office at noon after a tiring 3 hours of journey. Remarkable commitment, isn’t it? I went down for lunch to the Canteen downstairs. I wished I could take a snap of the people sitting at the Food Court of Tidel Park in Chennai. I never knew that there are so many obedient souls who care to come to office literally drowning themselves! Most of the offices declared leave today. As I find leisure in my office now, being one of those stranded souls who are waiting for Cabs which would start only after 5, I am catching up on my long due posts. Guess it been ages since I last saw this kind of rains with knee deep water clogging on the roads! Umm… I am longing for those sunny days again!!! Wishful thinking?! Hope it comes true!!

Laryngitis!!

Recently I got affected by Laryngitis.. What a typical name! I cant even pronounce that properly. Well, let me tell you that it feels awful. You can’t even hear your voice. Well, I admit that it got its own beauty! I kept my mouth shut for three days and it ain’t that bad. 🙂

I don’t wish for that to happen again either! Its a tricky infection. It gave me a feeling of weakness, cough, feverish sensation and cold. Yet I could do my daily chores. Sore throat, yet but it didn’t stop me from going on a long drive and taking a long walk.. Only that it got worse.

My voice changed in myriad ways. I could never understand the feeling of despair that a sickness causes in heart. A longing for care and fuss, and for the presence of loved ones creeps in mind. I got bored of coughing though, and I longed to drink something hot always. I think this is the only time when I had coffee and tea combo. I went to doctor twice, only to reconfirm my feeling that I really don’t like hospitals! Finally I got cured miraculously soon. Its nice to be able to talk and eat ice creams!

Bonsai Kittens, A horrifying hoax site..

I was horrified this morning to watch BonsaiKitten.com, which promotes animal cruelty and claims using kittens to shape their body the way a bottle is by stuffing them in a bottle, as an artistic expression of an ancient art. The humane society of US says that this website is a hoax, developed by an MIT student as a joke. Still, I was disgusted at the cruelty of the thinking and design which went into this website. An idea like this may actually propel someone to put it into practice. What do people do under the name of freedom of speech? Each law should have a self-limiting principle. Though human being is the most evolved lot of the life forms, he should recognize the responsibility which comes with it humbly rather than devising mean means of controlling the other life forms. What irritates me the most is that the site is still active. If this is what an MIT student learns as a way to joke, where lies the future?

Tsunami..

The tsunami disaster struck unexpectedly and shook the unwarned public and outstripped many of their lives, possessions and dear ones. The pain is unbearable for many and the way the natural disaster occurred came as a rude shock for the whole world. Now everyone can write about the pain, destruction but the time really calls for global unity in fighting disasters. The Tsunami destruction should be considered as a rude warning and the media and public should ponder over the importance of the disaster management, emergency actions and the recovery methods to handle the disasters of this magnitude. Rather than crying over the past, we should be cautious and active in future and be prepared to handle such emergencies with proper preventive measures. These times of need reflect the need for being proactive and prepared for natural calamities. These times call for global unity. Lets contribute our share to offer relief to victims and be prepared so that no one else would be subjected to such toil and agony again.

Memories Never Die!

An unfortunate incident happened on Saturday, where in two of my batch mates met with a fatal accident. One died on spot due to fatal injuries and another suffered Multiple facial fractures. Uh! It makes me wonder about the transitory nature of the human life. Such a waste of human potential and all this could have been avoided had they took proper measures in driving.. Well, the blame cant be laid on a particular issue and always on looking back, I find myself pondering over a lot of big “IF’S” that can make a difference.

He is such wonderful person with so much of energy, now he doesn’t even exist in this world. Only what remains with me is the memories which keep him alive. The memories which can’t die.