Helloo World!

4 06 2013

Keying into the ‘Me’ time is so tough after the long sojourn. I really did think that it would be so easy to hop back and pick up things from where I have left. A long pause of 4 years feels like a life time and it is not easy to pretend that nothing has changed, especially when I know that the dreamy idealist has learned to shield herself with a cloak of realism..

What makes me drag myself to the writing desk today? A small acknowledgement from the void that made me long for those deep pauses of reflective contemplations. Sometimes its just a little push that is needed at the right time. So thank you pal for that small token and yes I hear you. It is no fun to lock myself out from that little shelter that I so ardently crafted for being my muse.

Rediscovering things that are close to heart should be positively charging, isn’t it? I still cant shake that sense of clumsy premonition that is playing my companion with every key stroke. I hope it passes away soon to lead me into that familiar comfort zone as I make terms with myself. Until then, here is a big  ‘hello world’ into the void. Thank you for the tireless encouragement and that humbling patience with which you embrace me in my every waking moment.





Self-Assurance

13 10 2009

I never knew this simple phrase would jolt me back into this little world of mine.. Often what you take for granted is the one that requires utmost focus. Feels as if the music played on when I was napping.. Life crawled in slow finesse, whilst I slept unaware. Until.. until someone shook me up and asked my name.

Now what’s in a name? What’s in a name except for a simple attempt to frame an identity. Except for spelling that unique purpose it stands for? Hmm.. Here I am, wondering, what does my name stand for?

I have always taken pride in my this single strong trait of my identity. My confidence in my ability and my trust in my judgment has always been the guiding force in my life. No matter how strong the persuasiveness of life is, my spine has always been straight. What would you do when the whole world stands against you and screams against your conscience and best judgment? Whose side would you take? Would you hold on and stand for what you deem right, or would you give up yourself for the sake of acceptance? Sounds like a tough choice, isn’t it? Somehow I have always believed that One should never leave the side of oneself for the sake of anything, as long as what s/he believes it to be  true. Does this echo with you? Do tell me..

In words better described by Gall-up, which I often look upto..

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Self-Assurance is similar to self-confidence. In the deepest part of you, you have faith in your strengths. You know that you are able — able to take risks, able to meet new challenges, able to stake claims, and, most important, able to deliver. But Self-Assurance is more than just self-confidence. Blessed with the theme of Self-Assurance, you have confidence not only in your abilities but in your judgment. When you look at the world, you know that your perspective is unique and distinct. And because no one sees exactly what you see, you know that no one can make your decisions for you. No one can tell you what to think. They can guide. They can suggest. But you alone have the authority to form conclusions, make decisions, and act. This authority, this final accountability for the living of your life, does not intimidate you. On the contrary, it feels natural to you. No matter what the situation, you seem to know what the right decision is. This theme lends you an aura of certainty. Unlike many, you are not easily swayed by someone else’s arguments, no matter how persuasive they may be. This Self-Assurance may be quiet or loud, depending on your other themes, but it is solid. It is strong. Like the keel of a ship, it withstands many different pressures and keeps you on your course.

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A slice of paradise..

5 05 2009

A morning raga that soothingly warms you into a charming bright sunshine and shining woods that sings you into wondrous splendor… I can’t believe still that one day I woke up into this charming slice of paradise called Vythri in Wayanad.

Vythri gives a cozy feeling of being cocooned right in the middle of the forest with soothing natural streams accompanied with dulcet chirping of the birds, gentle rays of sun streaming through the woods, and sprawling trees that paint a natural green everywhere around. The resort is packed with ample attractions to keep one occupied like: indoor games, hanging bridge, restaurant, coffee shop, indoor games, swimming pool, spa, ayurvedic centre, boutique shop, badminton, football, bonfire etc. The food is awesome and each of those paddi rooms have a separate and secluded plunge pool for the residents. What more can one ask for!

When was the last time you have watched a firefly? For me, guess that joy dates back to childhood when a stray firefly would have made me squeal in delight. Imagine my reaction when I sighted the marvelous sight of a sprawling forest lit by the innumerable twinkles of the fireflies around the Vythri resorts. It was like a feast to the starving eyes. Moment of my life time and how I longed to freeze it for eternity!





Back to Basics…

18 01 2009

Life is a set of puzzling and contradictory questions to me. Often cosmic, they do spring an endless debate in the mind. Does the end lie in the answer or in the engaging loop of discussions, I couldn’t figure it so far, either. Here are some of them that are so tantalizingly engrossing in occupying the mind and soul at times.

What’s the purpose of human life?

To realize one’s true potential. To be at peace with oneself, with the neighborhood and with the world at large.

Why should we realize our potential?

To be what we can really be, to test our limitations and possibilities. Sometimes I wonder how far I have come in realization of my own capabilities. I am afraid to test the limits not because I don’t have the capability, but because I fear my own unlimited endurance, potential and expanse.

Risk: Such a tantalizingly dangerous word, yet I am so used to toil it on a daily basis.

Somehow now, I could see the essence in the wish, ‘may you live everyday of your life’. Hmm… Somehow why is it that everything in life feels like a game of probabilities? May be all that I can do is give my 100%, hope for the best and prepare for worst.





Its that time of the year again..

16 01 2009

Here’s how the gtalk status of one of my friends’ read on Jan 1st. “New year much more than change of last part of date. It means a new start, taking all +ves from 2008 to 2009 and leaving behind any -ves. It means defining new objectives for next 365 days along with redefining life goals. Lets take this opportunity and redefine life…in a new way.” I kind of loved it! Written on Jan 1st, this post is the gift of those nights which doesn’t come too often.

The night of Dec 31st and the Day of Jan 1st kind of runs on a slow momentum, at least for me. I had the most beautiful night of 2008 on 31st Dec and a marvelous day of Jan 1st this year as I dreamed on with open eyes. It felt as if the time has paused again to collate, garner and chew on the big things that happened in 2008 and dream up a whole lot of new things to get geared for 2009. Yes! Its that time of the year again to dream of those things called resolutions and try measuring how long would I sustain them in spirit and action. I love this tradition of New Year, the whole exercise of planning my own new laundry list of things to look forward to for the whole year. 🙂

Some personal goals, some small ambitions, some aspirations and a whole lot of wish lists.. They did make my action packed January. Action points and deadlines do pack a great deal of kick in them. I just love the immense satisfaction they leave behind as they fly by as per their schedule.

Here’s is how my laundry list looks like at this moment:
On the personal side,
A fitter me – Now don’t suspect this as an euphemism for ‘weight loss’. I have never got around achieving that goal of 50 something. 🙂 Yet, this wish is more to gift myself a more ‘energetic, dynamic and an enthusiastic’ me, which I could only prove to myself by my activity, long walks, treks and energy levels. Am planning to trek once a month, walk to office once a week and revive those old long walks.

An Organized Self – Well, I fare like an average grader in keeping myself organized. Somehow, yet I still believe that every 5 mins spent in organizing stuff, saves an hour later. I don’t know how to track this goal, but I am planning to list out action points to track under each of these BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals – one of those management lingo fallback).

A Domestic Me – Now, before you laugh your way out, give me a minute. This is important stuff for a bacheloress at 25, who is tired of eating out for about 9 years now. I have been such a depressingly pessimistic about my culinary skills so far that I often miss the basic and key ingredients (read salt) to create potentially disastrous homegrown recipes at home. Also, I guess its this strong sense to play that homebody and belong to somewhere that’s taking me over. So, this time the agenda includes me paying attention to home, kitchen and the domesticity overall. 🙂

Professionally:
Grooming those All rounder skills – To think on some specifics, I want to work on details, and train myself on the details on financials and operations which are essential for running business. Since, my new role is cross functional, I am hoping to capitalize on that expose to improvise on those skills

Learning more balance – call it work-life balance, or better time/stress/work management, I want to create that fine line between the personal and professional self and balance both of them with equal passion. Yes, I want to develop passion out of personal life, yet maintain passionate balance in work.

Spiritual
Mastery over self – If there is one quality that I want to add to myself this year, that’s discipline and rigor. Am more of a person who lives life day a time, and hence is mellowed and flexible like the water in many things. Yet, sometimes I strongly feel the need for some rigorous focus and discipline in adhering to those small little choices of life.

Wish me luck as I try to sustain these tiny little ambitions through out this year. 🙂





A Smile In the Sky!

1 12 2008

Today I am rewarded with a beautiful smile that got unveiled in the sky. One of those rare moments, when the Venus, Jupiter and the crescent Moon came together to spread some cheer in the sky.

It looked so beautiful and radiant for the moment it lasted! How beautiful simplest joys of life can be! They sure made my evening before clouds stealthily stole them away for themselves. Some moments really last for a lifetime!

Though I couldn’t do justice to the memory of such marvelous beauty, I still love to share this with you all.





In Memory Of the Real Heroes

1 12 2008

Mumbai was in thought, mind and spirit for the past 100 hours. In those moments of heightened and frenzied activity, my emotions were a big kaleidoscope of mixed colors: of denial, anger, blankness, insecurity, helplessness, and agony of loss.

Digesting the mindless madness of this attempt has been the toughest part of the past week. I was praying for the ruthlessness  of the time and mind to commit the horror of the moment to the memory and make me carry on life like business as usual. I guess its the classic escapist nature of the self that lulls one to hope and wish for the better future and life of the countrymen.

Terrorists, Bombs and attacks are not new to us. They are just a part of old news that we deal with in our lifetime. Resilient and united is how our Mumbai janata has always been. They made me proud during the blasts or the floods of the recent times by the way they stood for each other and supported one another. The glorious NSG, Army and Commandos who laid their life on battle to save their fellow countrymen, and those innumerable and countless people of Taj and Oberoi who sacrificed their life in the name of duty, responsibility and honor: You make me proud. You also teach me a lesson in humility, love, respect, honor and duty. I mourn for the senseless loss of you all. May your soul rest in peace and quiet and may your sacrifice remain forever in the mind of people and make way for a positive and better future.

As an Indian, I couldn’t resist myself from quoting this song that’s committed to my memory since childhood days.

‘E Mere Watan Ke Logon, Jara Aankh Me Bharlo Paani
Jo Shaheed Huve Hai Vunki, Jara Yaar Karo Kurbani.’

My eyes are still red with anger, and contempt for the senseless audacity of the monsters and the grief for the destruction of the lives of the people and here we promise that your sacrifice wouldn’t go waste in lighting candles or tea time discussions of Mumbai blasts but would be committed to memory and reflected in actions of our fellow men.

This is time for leadership, for action, and commitment from the Government to take India to the progress and security. Dear leaders, do tell us. Could a better intelligence system have avoided this Mumbai Massacre? Could a better planning would have reduced the heavy loss of life that tolls heavily on the conscience of every Indian? Yes, we Indians are resilient and we would bounce back to life faster. But isn’t it your job to ensure and assure that these incidents wouldn’t repeat and rehash themselves in grisly and morbid frequency. Give us a plan, and not just some shoot off the lip condolences and condemnations. I refuse to believe that India, with its rich intellectual horse power can’t learn from this lesson and make plan for the best intelligence and tracking system to deroot the terrorist network. This is the time of action for us to take a stand tall like determined patriots and contribute our share to the betterment of the environment and society at large. This is the time to take time to reflect, cull the lessons, and make a personal plan for contribution to the enhancement of the security, safety and growth of the team called India.

A note to the Monsters:

What appalled me is the gall of those uncultured, vacuous bigots who could kill with smile and with utter disregard to conscience. I wonder how would your so called God permit this frenzied destruction under a larger purpose. What could be the education of your brainwashed asinine monsters whose doctrines permit the ruthless killing of fellow people with reckless abandon in the name of holy war or some messed up ideology to reserve a seat in heaven. Wah, is this your idea of holy war business? What could be holy in taking on defenceless, unprepared, friendly people by surprise and blowing their brains out in a displaced sense of justice? Oh I forget, you peanut brained guys cant be expected to understand concepts like holy, God and justice. Ever tthought about what does your Heaven look like? A mirror of the destruction you created? Of strewn lambs of your fellow men, of debris of the marvels of creation filled with stench of blood and flesh?

Yeah, right. You guys were making a statement: of your empty headed ideologies, of your debased moral sense, cheap values and of the deviousness of the monstrous actions. Just wake up from perdition and watch for yourself. You wanted to our national monument to bit the dust? You would see the Taj standing proud and tall, living to tell the courageous tale of the ordeal. I can see it back to its feet better and beautiful in weeks. You wanted to instill fear in the heart of the business of India? Go check, for the city of Mumbai is back on its feet, with those crowded metro stations and with tonnes of people making a statement of courage as they brush past the terror and walk up to a purposeful Monday with determination. You wanted to cripple India’s growth? We might miss some tourist dollars, but haven’t you already noticed the the vadapav centres getting busied up on the streets in utter disregard for your brutish actions. Nothing and no-one can stop the tenacity and the persistence of the Indians that make my country. It’s just another day for us, to conquer life and the world at large.





A Place That Spells Peace..

21 11 2008

And a memory that I would treasure for a life time. It took me an year to discover this beautiful sojourn in the Bangalore city. Yes, I am talking about the same good old Kempfort ShivMandir on airport road in Bangalore.

Now, you might ask me why is it so special for me? Its because it gifted me a peaceful and serene memory at the darkest hour of the day. I was exhausted and drained from the day to day turmoil of the work, and all I wanted at night is some place to relax and reflect in peace with a close friend. And a thought crossed my mind to venture to this place, and we were amply rewarded as we walked in just when the last aarti of the temple was about to commence. The night turned radiant and I was spellbound to watch the mighty magnificence of the prayer. The feeling was beyond an expression that words could lace and the divine solace that enveloped me was soothing and comforting in gentle grace. There I was, at peace with myself, in unison with the environment, and God.

I would never claim to be a traditional theist, yet I avow by the faith and belief that makes a place of worship divine. What are rituals, if they don’t enhance and  magnify the inner hope and faith. What are temples, if they don’t stand as a testament of faith. I believe. How powerful that expression could be! I realize it whenever I visit a temple, for always it calms my mind and brings peace.  The sheer might of faith enlivens the God for me.

After so many days, the experience still remains just a thought away, like a fond caress of a gentle breeze. After discovering this little alcove, which is the only peaceful temple that I have known to be open for 24 hours throughout the day, I am sure to garner further memories.

P.S.: Thanks to Srijith for this beautiful capture.





Counting Life By Moments..

9 10 2008

People don’t last forever, sometimes neither relationships do. Yet, its just memories and moments that make us truly alive are those that last forever, or atleast till we do.

Why?

I guess we all know the answer at the subconscious level, yet it does take a conscious effort to acknowledge, understand and give our life and every living moment to the moment.

Can we design our destiny or rule our fate?

I doubt it very much. Yet, we do hold a control of the passing moments and have the power in our hand to transform them into magical memories for the life time. Just a small thought in this direction really showed me things in a new light and hence it became a resolution for this festival period.





An Update..

17 09 2008

Yes. I know. I have heard from you all about how I vanished from the place that I loved most. And seriously, I did have a wide grin when you said that you missed me. 🙂 Yet, playing to the gallery isn’t my forte at all. Life is caught in a swirl of change and am riding the wave in a gleeful manner. This time the change is in my career. A rapid shift in my career sees me taking a bit of stretch role in a new industry with a new set of roles and responsibilities. What could be a better learning experience than shirking the comfort zone in search of unexplored terrain?

I am so used to the lingo of R&D, a world high strung with drama, energy, passion and smart people since past three years that letting it go has been tough on me. Thanks for those rough weather friends who made this easy on me. Thanks for those long conversations, sweet many things, nice long walks and small special treats. I can’t thank enough for those special moments that filled my life during those moments of indecision and tension.

Sometimes I wonder if I take my life too easily and work way too seriously. Putting the glass down has been easy to preach and too tough to practice. And hence this long pause to indulge myself in contemplation and solitude. Farewell times are often tough, yet they are much needed for true friends to meet again. I am moving on with some bitter sweet memories to fill those nostalgic moments and somehow Bilbo’s last song steals the moment for the day.

“Day is ended, dim my eyes,
but journey long before me lies.
Farewell, friends! I hear the call.
The ship’s beside the stony wall.
Foam is white and waves are grey;
beyond the sunset leads my way.
Foam is salt, the wind is free;
I hear the rising of the Sea.

Farewell, friends! The sails are set,
the wind is east, the moorings fret.
Shadows long before me lie,
beneath the ever-bending sky,
but islands lie behind the Sun
that I shall raise ere all is done;
lands there are to west of West,
where night is quiet and sleep is rest.

Guided by the Lonely Star,
beyond the utmost harbour-bar,
I’ll find the heavens fair and free,
and beaches of the Starlit Sea.
Ship, my ship! I seek the West,
and fields and mountains ever blest.
Farewell to Middle-earth at last.
I see the Star above my mast!”

Friends, Acquaintances, Loved ones, Well-wishers, the Diffident ones and the Random browsers, thanks for being there in those moments of silent need. You make this journey of life very special.





Comfort Zones..

7 09 2008

Those are big words. They are also the most often used/abused words in my dictionary. You would often catching me rolling it off with a careless regard oft to myself and often in generic conversations that go around the world.

Come think of it, there are many things that offer comfort in moments of insanity drives. It could be a pack of chocolates, a piece of soothing music, my favorite workspace, or the cozy comfort of an enjoyable book that often comes to rescue offering serene solitude and sweet freedom in the world of my own making. Yet, Cooing up long enough in those little spaces can make one forget the terrible purpose of being for it hinders the ability to dare and heed to the passion call to risk everything for something that we hold close to heart.

Sometimes I feel as if I am so away from my own self that it takes me a while to call for rescue. What so often made for lingering comfort couldn’t assert its existence anymore. Of all the paradoxical pursuits of life, have you ever experienced this urge to deny those little alcoves of comfort in search of something whose essence you haven’t grasped so far?





Citius, Altius, Fortius

21 08 2008

I could be one of the most disinterested participants that I know in tracking the Beijing Olympics. I still remember the rapture with which my Mom watched the launch of Beijing Olympics when I played Solitaire in my room. Yet, the spirit of passion always lingers on those who come in touch with it. I couldn’t resist but cheer for Abhinav Bindra or catch up with the verve of the participants and their spirit to succeed against all odds.

For some, its a great example of the best of sporting spirit at display, whilst for some its just do or die. As we attempt and persist, so we excel. As we test the limits, so we bring out those incremental improvements that drive towards excellence. Some how the Olympics motto ‘Citius, Altius, Fortius’, Latin for ‘Swifter, Higher, Stronger’ makes perfect sense. Swifter than what we are currently, higher than what we can aim and stronger than what we think is possible. Testing the limits of endurance, and teaching that excellence is when we persist in besting ourselves with each attempt, whilst respecting the spirit of sportsmanship and sharing the joy with everyone around us. The spirit of participation shimmering over the highs of triumphs and the quagmires of losses. Such a powerful message packed in such small motto. Some how, it lingered.





Things Fall Apart

19 08 2008

Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things Fall Apart ; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

—W. B. Yeats, “The Second Coming”

“Things Fall Apart” novel is a widely acclaimed African novel in English, and often considered as a magnum opus in Chinua Achube’s literary history. Having throughly enjoyed ‘Things Fall Apart’, I could see the why. It acted as an eye opener for me, and made me discover the African cultural fabric in a much more wholesome way.

This book protagonist Okonkwo, is a self made warrior, driven by the fear of failure and the zeal to overcome weakness. In his passion to succeed against all odds, Okonkwo led his life and family with a iron hand, never giving away his affection or emotion. From rags, Okonkwo raises to fame as one of the reputed warriors in Umuofia by sheer hard work. Under the pretense of strength, he even survives the sacrifice of his adopted son’s sacrifice and endures severe hardships to earn his way as one of the most powerful men in the clan. Yet, inadvertently he commits a mistake and had to leave the clan for a period of seven years.

Here is the novel takes an interesting turn where we are introduced to the silently creeping change in the Igbo culture due to introduction of Christianity, missionaries and modern education. Rooted in the ancestral beliefs, Okonkwo finds it difficult to accept the shifting norms of the village under the colonial rule that altered many deep seated cultural customs of the village. With a dignified grace, Achebe narrates the cultural change that happened in the history to highlight how certain things would be so difficult to mend once broken. Things fall apart. Agreed and that could be a powerful perspective to explore the sweeping change in a cultural or a historical context. I loved the way Achube brought forth the complex norms of the African culture and dispelled the stereotypical imagery of the primitive Africa.

Here are some of the quotes from the book that moved me immensely.

“Why should a man suffer so grievously for an offense he had committed inadvertently? But although he thought for a long time he found no answer. He was merely led into greater complexities.

Okonkwo looked away. He heard the blow. The pot fell and broke in the sand. He heard Ikemefuna cry, ‘My father, they have killed me!’ as he ran towards him. Dazed with fear, Okonkwo drew his matchet and cut him down. He was afraid of being thought weak.”





Some Moments Cherished…

18 08 2008

Yesterday unraveled like a beautiful present for me, and what made it special was that truly cherished feeling that you can acquire only in the companionship of those who can converse with your silence. I am sure going to mark that wonderful day in my memory forever, and I couldn’t help but muse on all those wonderful moments in life when many loved ones walked that extra mile to show how much they cared or loved. Those surprise visits from lovedones, those thoughtful actions from friends, that special care from friends in times when spirit hits an all time low, that precious gift of time from your mentors and pals when you need them the most, and those tiny thoughtful acts of love that tacitly speak volumes about how much blessed I am.

I couldn’t help but say a small prayer at heart, for thoughts do fail me in those moments of unquenchable happiness. God, give me life and heart to reciprocate the abundant love and kindness that I receive in this world, and do give me conscience to smell the roses along the path and count my blessings along this seemingly endless journey of life.





Midnight Musings..

10 08 2008

I would start by telling you how special these are for me for I rarely meet midnights in eye. Probably I can count those days on fingers when I really waited for the darkness to envelop me in tranquility at the darkest of hour. One of those moments of tranquiliy where I am content with the company of me and myself. Its 2 AM right now and I feel so good to be awake to keep the company of myself. I’m suffering from a heady mix of movie overdose, weariness thats creeping into the head after watching 3 movies back to back just to drive maddening thoughts out of my system, and a strange sense of solitude. I cherish this rare experience.

I am surprised at myself Though. Why is this zeal to drive oneself to the edge, just to test the limit of my endurance?





Cicada Resorts, Kabini

7 08 2008

After about six hours of tiring ride from Bangalore, we landed in this paradise. A little drizzle, coconut grooves, mountain bikes, tiled cottages, overlooking the Kabini riverside, chirping birds, cozy hammocks, gentle wafting breeze.. What could I ask for more? Enveloped in the lazy comfort of nature, I discovered the pleasure of doing nothing.

Somehow strangely, it made me nostalgic of my quaint little town Rajahmundry that overlooks the serene Godavari. For sometime, I tried to convince myself I am not living my dream.

I guess its been a long time since my mind and soul are this quiet.. Coming here made me realize how desperately I needed this break. 🙂 I basked in the sheer pleasure of relaxing by the riverside and indulging in the simple activities. What I loved the most? Let me count..

Cycling by the riverside

Its been a long time since I last cycled in the woods. Biking along the uneven roads, doing the balancing act, rushing uphill and enjoying the pull of the downward ride, rush of adrenaline, and the enveloping calmth afterward.. Is that a cyclist’s high?

Lazing in the Hammock

Away from civilization, and yet so near to all the modern comforts. That’s the blend of experience that you get in resorts located in pristine locations. I must have spent some quality hours on this hammock by the riverside, in the soothing symphony of the birds.

Jeep Safari by the Nagarhole National Park

Jungle Safari by the river side, along the sides of Kabini River is a refreshing journey in the wilderness, especially in the wilderness. We spotted herds of agile deers sprinting over the grasslands, and some wild elephants too. At the end of the trip, we did stop at a place where domesticated elephants are groomed. What struck me was the huge difference in their body language. A wild elephant looks spirited and in ease with the life and self, whilst the domesticated elephant looks much more resigned with life in spirit and action. That’s a serious thought to ponder there, for somehow, I had a feeling that these animals would anyday trade a risky life of freedom in wilderness where they had to fight for survival every moment, to a sheltered and secured life of bondage. Now I wonder, why do we act different and pretend that we are insanely wise, trading our life’s longings and dreams to conventional wisdom? Somehow, spotting those wood spirits soothed my soul like nothing could, especially on a lovely morning.

A Place That Spells Peace..

And lives upto it too. No blaring horns, no loud music, all you can find is the sound of silence and your own heart beat. I loved being there for a weekend, and could only bring back those beautiful memories of paradise.





Dreams….

30 07 2008

Haunted by my dreams, this post is a result of midnight musings, after I soothed my frayed nerves by a short chat with my papa. These days I realized that dreams are my deepest desires which I have never acknowledged. Its like those persistant voices which never got a chance, and hence they manifest in the eerie visions of the dreamland when our resistance to logically refute is at all time low. Most of the things I dream are either about things that I heard of, or things that I want to happen or stories that I read somewhere. Those some of these often take me by surprise, they would laos make me believe that I am what I dream. But dreaming alone won’t achieve what I long for, right? May be I don’t live my dreams because I live my fears. May be, I magnify my fears with the thinking mind and lull the heart’s desire with cold reason.

My experience of dreams goes a long way back.. Most of my dreams weave those ‘what if’ sequences about the opportunities that life presents. Some of them could be about me visualizing how would it look if I try bungee jumping or about how would life be in a different career, or about how is an ordinary day in a new environment. Yet, these are what make me come to terms with my anxieties and facts of lifewhile making me comfortable with the fear from the unknown.

And there are those creative dreams either about the stories I heard, movies I partly saw or books that I read somewhere. One of those vivid childhood dreams that stayed with me, is this dream of Ramayana, that started from where the Hanuman brings the sanjeevani to the end of war. I distinctly remember this, for I stayed long in bed so that this dream finds its end. Well, there are dreams where I played wild roles, like a daredevil detective, or a super woman, but let me assure you, these are quite rare. Its been long time since I played the batwoman. 🙂 Yet, the kick of these dreams lies in the way I could manipulate those sequences, or even create them to my satisfaction.

And then there are those dreams that helped me overcome my fears. In childhood, I have always been afraid of things like loosing family members or snakes. I am not sure if I overcome any of those fears. But I remember those dreams which made me run till I made a choice to pick a stick and fight or those that portrayed loss of loved ones and taught me to appreciate their value in life.

But of all these dreams that I had, I never felt as if I am an inactive participant. I have always, (ok, I concede) most of the times, been able to direct my dream to my desired end or end it before it turns wild. May be that’s why I never had such a predominant nightmare which became a permanent memory.

Somehow I believe that dreamland is the space where we touch the threshold of our potential and visualize the realization of our deepest desires. Some stop there, reveling in the beauty of their dreams and basking in vicarious satisfaction; while some hold on and make it a reality in this material world.

I don’t think I have a theory about what I dream, but somehow writing about them did lighten my thought at this late hour. If you are reading this, tell me about your dreams. Would love to hear about the extent and expanse of your imagined universe. Even if you don’t want to talk about it in public space, it’s ok. At least acknowledge them to yourself in solitude, else you would end up being haunted by dreams, just the way I was.

P.S. Whenever I think of dreams, I couldn’t help but muse on here, for in vague sense, it gives me hope.





Mush Movie Marathon

29 07 2008

Serendipity

Serendipity: a fortunate accident, or lucky discovery, we all believe in them in some point of time. Fate, or Destiny, sometimes it feels so right to leave life to them and be driven in the flow.

Serendipity, this movie lives up to its tagline: Destiny with a sense of humor. To cut a sweet story short, this movie is about two strangers who share a beautiful evening on a Christmas eve, decide to test the destiny by leaving clues that travel around the world. Though each have their own respective fiancé, they couldn’t get the beauty of that encounter out of their heart, and so begins a frantic search to locate each other. When they are about to give up their wild goose chase and get back to the routine life, we realize that destiny had different plans for them.

Do watch this movie to share a few laughs. I loved this obituary that Dean writes for his friend.

“Dean: Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. “Things were clearer for him,” Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call “fatum”, what we currently refer to as destiny.”

A Walk to Remember

Wonder, beauty, joy and love, guess they sum up the essence of this movie. Life, hope and the long journey ahead, all that and more find their place in this soulful movie. This movie made me revisit faith. This movieholds a beautiful example of what an ounce of faith could accomplish: Magic. Faith, such small word, yet how powerful! it forever continues to shine and touch the soul like nothing else could.

The entire movie can be summed up in this Landon’s confession: “Jamie has faith in me, she makes me wanna be different, to be better.”

Its been sometime since I saw a movie that runs like a beautiful poetry. It feels good to be alive, to feel pain, and to cry my heart out. Do watch this for some sweet time, and don’t blame me if your heart turns heavy.

The Notebook


“I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”

And so starts this movie, and flows like a serene river of love. Watching this movie made me realize how pale its remake ‘U, Me and Hum’ was. This movie is a beautiful capture of a summer romance that lit the lives of a couple of teenage kids Allie and Noah. After being separated for years by protective parents, Allie discovers Noah on a chance encounter and finds that her feelings are alive. Ala M&B style, Allie chooses her first love Noah over her fiancé and then they lived happily ever after until death claimed them. People may claim it as a usual dramatic movie, yet for me its a remarkable film.

P.S: Do check these movies out when you care for a little dream and a little hope. Am sure they don’t disappoint you.





A Quiet Evening…

27 07 2008

After being thoroughly drenched by the rain that caught me off guard on my way back to home, I stepped into a typical roadside restaurant called (I guess) ‘Tandoori Garden’ on BTM main road in Bangalore that offered a quick relief. I was surprised to discover a highway side Dhaba kind of ambiance amidst the city with old seventies music humming softly in the background that paled in comparison to the noisy discussions around the tables, rustic walls painted in dark red and bright green shades warming up the environment and the dinner tables set with table lamp lights that are made of straw and are suspended from ceiling. I lived just across the road, yet it took me about an year to discover the beauty of this little restaurant. May be all I needed is a new set of eyes to enjoy the environment around.





Movie Marathon

21 07 2008

Nothing like a playing a lazy couch potato at home if you got the right company. Instead of wondering what I couldn’t do, I tried my hand at running a Movie Marathon to beat a little sickness. And my picks for the weekend movie show in the order of my preference are

The Princess Bride – Now this movie is a classic fairy tale cut straight out of Grandpa’s bedtime stories. What a beautiful blend of romance, fantasy, comedy and adventure! I guess what appealed to me was the sheer unrealistic setup that made my imagination limitless in expanse. The Cinderella story is complete with a beautiful princess named Buttercup falls in love with a poor stable boy Wesley, and when he’s captured by pirates, she’s chosen by evil Prince Humperdinck to be his princess bride. Sword fights, Lagoons with eels, Fire Swamps, revenge, miracles, giants and true love. I am glad I discovered this movie, for it enlivened my childhood for me, for a moment.

Finding Nemo – I am glad I watched this movie. Of all the animation movies that I have watched, I loved this one the best. This movie is a celebration of human spirit, faith and above all, love. One of those rare movies that tug your heart and make you think at the same moment. A single parent Marlin is overprotective of his son Nemo, and yet he haplessly watches as his son gets scooped away by a oceanic driver all the way to Sydney. Talks about life in troubled waters. Now Marlin, teamed with a forgetful Dory hazards Sharks, Jelly Fish and Angler Fishes to reach the Sydney harbor. In search of Nemo, his father Marlin discovers life and its meaning. In search of his Son, he realizes the true essence of love. By learning to let go, he discovers that the essence of true love is enveloping freedom. I just loved this movie.

Minority Report – The sheer reason I picked this movie is to watch how the hero interacts with huge chucks of data on a glass interface. A little work induced temptation. Yet, this movie is filled with intrigue, action, crime, Sci-Fi, mystery and makes one wonder about the possibilities of future. How interesting. Its the year 2054 in the movie Minority report, offers us a possibility of eliminating crime banking on magnifying visions, where as the recently released Bollywood hungama fisaco Love Story 2050 presents us with the possibilities of flying cars and talking teddybears! My concerns? None, I gave up on cribbing!

A Walk in the Clouds – After ‘The Princess Bride’, my heart longed for good old sweet movies of the M&B kinds and my friend recommended this one to me. the name reminded me of a totally illusionary romance, and what I got as a delightful surprise was a sweet love story. Another of those fairytale romances where a Paul befriends a Mexican lady and ends up playing the role of her husband for a day trying to be a good Samaritan. Mexican fields, Grape wines, serenades, romance and affection of the family slowly work out the magic as this movie proceeds to take you through a walk in the clouds.

The Illusionist: Intrigue, Mystery, and Thriller. An charming pursuit of a love by a magician in the most engaging fashion. The storytelling is exemplary and the movie is engaging from the start to finish. Love, Magic, Illusion, Treachery, all this and more leaves one with a pleasant surprise.

Spiderwick Chronicles: Another of those childhood fantasy fiction novels. Yet, it evokes those delightful memories of childhood exuberance, innocence and curiosity. Jared, Simon and Mallory find themselves in a different world when they shift to the rundown Spiderwick Estate. Jared finds a book that introduces him to the mystery world of magical creatures, which is filled with beautiful spirits, and terrorizing goblins. The way the trio navigates through the wonderland and rescues their family through the dangers of the dark creatures is charming to watch. Now, who said I can’t giggle like a child again and believe in the limitless possibility of imagined universe.

Just Like Heaven: Elizabeth Masterson, a workaholic doctor in San Francisco, gets into a tragic car crash and gets in a coma. Meanwhile,David Abbott sublets Elizabeth’s apartment for rent. Elizabeth’s spirit haunts the apartment and gets into an endless argument with David, as he alone can see her. Love happens whilst Elisabeth’s spirit tries to remember her identity and background. The sheer riduculousness of the story is compensated by the dialogues and the characterization. And I loved the roof top garden as well! 🙂

Million Dollar Baby: “There is magic in fighting battles beyond endurance.” And this movie captures it quite elegantly. Somehow, I always have longed for happy endings and fairy dreamy world settings and this movie packs a realistic punch. The champions should always be celebrated and there should always be love and joy in the end. May be that’s the reason why I couldn’t accept the ending of the movie that justified the choice of death by the fighter. Yet, sometimes it gets too tiring to fight for life. Sometimes all we long for is endless relief and limitless rest from the struggle. May be there lies a win in knowing when to give up. I grudgingly admit that despite the ending, I loved this movie for its sensitive portrayal of persistence and relationships.

What this tells me? One no brainer for me to ponder is that I really need new ways to amuse myself, and this is one of the palest that I could come up with. I sure enjoyed that little touch of variety to my couch potato weekend,and yet I guess I would be stiff bored to repeat this little experiment once again. 🙂





Something Amiss..

13 07 2008

As a sheer wave of nostalgia hits me in this sunny Sunday afternoon, I couldn’t help but muse on all those lovely moments of my life.. Yes, Indeed I miss

  • Those Hasty Bicycle rides to School
  • Climbing Guava and Mango trees in search of sweet temptations
  • Those Hide and Seek Games that filled lazy afternoons
  • Summer Time.. Umm.. Mango eating competitions in the village backyards.. Yummy!
  • Hosting Bicycle Championships around the village roads
  • Inventing creative reasons for missing classes
  • Those innocent dreams of Ramayan, Snakes and Shaktiman
  • Those days of ‘Chitrahaar’ and ”Doordarshan’ sans remote control
  • Bending rules with childhood pals, my partners in crime
  • Those summer rains and the lighthearted frolic on the terrace
  • The sheer joy of growing up, and the academic rigmarole

Umm.. How I long for a little drizzle of joy or a time machine… Suddenly this whole business of playing the adult isn’t that appealing any more.





Teach India..

7 07 2008

Teach India. A great Initiative that made me really happy today.

Some interesting statistics to note: 300 Million in India still doesn’t know how to write their name. 9 out of 10 kids in Class I, never make it till Class 10th. (These are stats that I picked up from this Sunday newspaper.) They just establish the dire necessity of basic education for all.

This initiative gives most of us a chance to shrug the inertia and put that coffee time over weekends to good use. The minimum commitment that one needs to make is a couple of hours every week, which I think wouldn’t be that difficult for us provided we agree with the cause. It’s just taking that first step, that’s difficult. Visit this Website and please do your bit.

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Quoting from the Website:

“Teach India is a nation-building initiative (or social initiative) from the Times of India that brings together children in need of education and people who can contribute a little time towards teaching them. It is based on one simple principle: If you have the desire to teach, we will put you in touch with underprivileged children who are willing to learn. With over sixty of India’s committed NGOs, corporates, schools and social organizations already supporting our cause, we now look for selfless individuals to come forward and help change the future of a child forever, by giving just a few hours a week to Teach India

How do I apply?

As part of the Teach India movement, The Times of India has established partnerships with several NGOs in Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai and Kolkata . Anyone interested in participating can visit the Teach India website at www.teach.timesofindia.com and join us. Alternatively you can also fill out the Volunteer Registration form submit it to The Times of India office in your city. To receive the form on email, SMS TEACH to 58888.

How does Teach India work?

As soon as your completed form reaches us, you will receive a confirmation message. You will then be mapped to one of our NGOs based on your area preference and time commitment, and asked to contact a NGO coordinator assigned to you and meet him/her. Once selected, you will be placed in one of the programmes, and after a basic orientation, your teaching sessions will begin. ”

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Something I spotted on A Pamphlet

30 06 2008

Found this in a Pamphlet for the play “the Woman in Me’ by Pawan. Its hosted at Ranga Shankara, Bangalore at 7:30 PM on 17,18, 19th July 2008.

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A Mirror tells the truth! Isn’t that a lie? Stand in the front of a mirror and look to your right, where does the reflection look? It looks to the left! You raise your right hand and it raises its left. A mirror only tells you the opposite!

Our lives are depended on the sotries that we build of our past. Some are true and some are just subconsciously made up.

I wonder sometimes, what really happens? How much of what I feel and what I see is really happening the same way? How different is “Reality” from the way I perceive it?

Is the color Red really red?

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That’s indeed a compelling writeup for a play. Am tempted to check it out.





Apathy…

27 06 2008

Ever experienced it?

A sicking sensation of nothingness. A quiet despair creeping into the numbing spirit. A hushed space suspended in vacuum where the sounds of silence throb deeper into the hollow of the heart.

Sometimes the disquietening lull of life haunts more than words can ever will.





Caught In the Swirl Of Stardust!

24 06 2008

I never thought I would actually dedicate a thought to this movie ‘Saawariya’, on which I am still undecided on my reaction. I don’t think I would ever be able to take a stand on whether I loved the movie or hated it. That’s because I shared both these feelings in equal measure. Saawariya is a beautiful vision without imagination, a splendid fare of visual poetry without gravity, a charming seductress without soul and is filled with delusional love that is evoked by the lackluster admixture of scintillating idealistic dreamworld with the brazen harshness of reality. Yet, what remains with me at the end of the movie are those poignant and oddly affecting richly detailed visuals. Hence this post is filled with them.

When I look back, what often resonates with real life for me is the storyline though. Set in a dreamland (does any of those settings look anywhere near reality? ), the movie paints in richer intricacy, the pining of Sakina for the mystery love of her life Imaan, ignoring the starry eyed devotion she receives from Raj aka Saawariya. Sakina is cloyingly sweet, achingly hollow and an innocent manipulator who plays with the tender feelings of the eternally optimistic Raj while allowing him to cling to the delusion of her love. I couldn’t credit her with one identity for she plays the hopeless romantic perfectly pining for her illusionary love at first sight, whilst transforming herself as a coy temptress in the presence of Raj bewitching him with her innocent yearning for the love unattained.

Fused identities, conflicting ideologies, stark contrasts between the imagined universe and the dark reality, and the never ending fight between idealistic yearning and realistic possibilities: these are the Saawariya movie’s recurrent themes. Yet, though this movie feels like a piece out of a dream sequence, some of those characters feel so darkly real. Engulfed in perplexity, I notice so many Sakinas’ in reality much to my discomfort. People bartering dreams for materialistic pleasures are one extreme, whilst those trading realistic positive encounters of finding selfless love for the lure of illusionary and obsessive yearnings is another extreme.

Sometimes when I chat with my peers, I can often imagine them trapped in their own multi dimentional wonderland awaiting for their Perfect Soulmates. Princesses and Damsels in distress living in fairytale world, yearning for their Prince Charming to ride to their rescue and sweep them off their feet, often failing to acknowledge that life is happening around them. Sometimes its so difficult to identify which group they belong to: people who are in love or people who are in love with the idea of being in love. Sometimes the bubble of illusion, that they comfortably ensconce themselves in, wouldn’t equip them for the real life experiences.

Whenever we swap ideas on the things that are meaningful to us in life, we realize that we are goaded either by instinct or intellect. Life is all about tough choices and we all choose based on our own value systems. I just hope that the fairy tale romantic notions doesn’t spoil people at their chances of serendipity. The lure of nihilism is a dark temptation that envelops us if we dwell in dreams and forget to live. The wait may be on, yet, lets not forget that no one is perfect: me, you, and all those prince charmings and the knights in shimmering armour are armed with our own limitations and idiosyncrasies. We might as well be better of rescuing ourselves from those clout of dreams and the deep schism that the intersection of these virtual and real worlds present.

I can only seal this piece of muse by quoting from my favorite song from Pardon Dolly:

““Watching the girl I’m reminded
she’s quite a lot like me
Trapped in the suburbs of wonderland,
lost in her own fantasy
Somehow my heart never grew up,
no one ever burst my balloon
So here I am swirling in star dust
slow dancing with the moon”





Some Great Times Remembered..

24 06 2008

A few moments celebrated..

I am not one of those people who love hanging around coffee shops indulging in coffee and conversations. Yet, this Barista coffee shop at the Barton Centre on M.G. Road in Bangalore really treated me with the right kind of music and a beautiful ambiance on a lazy evening.

Here is a view from outside. (Looks like any plain coffee shop, isn’t it?)

(Photo Courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/damp/)

What delighted me was the beauty of a serene recess that this open air coffee shop offers from the traffic humdrum right in the heart of M.G. area. I took to my heart’s content the gentle breeze and the peppy music along with fun filled company. Here I am, gladly thanking Barista for the great time I had there.

Here is where we seated. Our private alcove from the hectic traffic reality. 🙂 A step inside can assure you a great time if you are with the right company. The music is just apt for a chilled out discussion with good pals. But make sure you give the order at the counter, for rarely you find any waiters roaming with the Menu. We sat there for an hour happily chatting and noone offered us Menu, and slowly it dawned on us that its a self-service coffee shop. 🙂

Coffee, Conversations, Breeze and Music, just apt for my idea of a perfect evening. Looks can be deceptive, isn’t it?





Antargange Trek..

23 06 2008

Pure Exhiliaration is the word of the day. Thanks for the insistence of a sweet pal, which made me head for this trek instead of watching ‘Dasavatharam’ or indulging in window shopping.

This is the first time that I tried ‘Bangalore Mountaineering Club’ and I must say that I am pleasantly surprised by the experience. We boarded the bus at 8 AM at K.R. Puram busstop and I was surprised to see 50 plus people in the bus, given the short notice. I guess the quality of the companionship in the group made all the difference to this trekking experience.

The trip started with around 90 minutes of bus journey from Bangalore to reach Kolar. We caught up with the breakfast at ShanthiSagar in Kolar which is around 3 km from the ‘Antargange’ location. We reached the place in no time and there was a pack of stairs leading up to the temple. We were welcomed by loads of monkeys, and the pleasant sunny breeze warmed us for the trek ahead.

We reached the Antargange temple after a little climb of stairs, and I already had doubts forming in my mind, if the trek actually is over before it even began. The temple is filled with serene silence and the group is abuzz with action for the impending climb. Making the temple as our base camp, we started the trek with Janak playing the lead trekker and Neeraj trailing to support the cozy climbers.

The path is paved with sand, rock, thorns and the sun, in his blazing glory, wasn’t playing the good Samaritan. Yet, undaunted, many were climbing ahead, one step at a time, in a quiet determination to discover the terrain. I really marvelled at the energy of the crowd in climbing and cave exploring in the region. By noon, we reached the peak of a mountain(if I can call it that) and were ready to go for cave exploration after a relaxed lunch on the peak of a mountain by the side of a small brook filled with chilled water. Cold feet takes a different meaning when you get to rest by dipping feet in chilled water on the top of a mountain in sooting breeze after a hectic trek uphill.

The beauty of mingling with a group in an organized trek, is the sheer experience of encountering different people with different choices and interests. There would be some exploring the untrodden path, some who would take time around to smell the roses and savour the scenary around, while some who run ahead in childlike enthusiam of scaling the peak ahead only to discover that there is no dearth of rocks. Everyone discovering his or her own private definition of solitude and enjoyment amidst wilderness and sun.

If the climb uphill through the rocks in no definite path was a journey on its own, filled with a different thrill of navigating through the boulders that challenge your endurance, the cave exploration post lunch unleashed the childlike exuberance of discovering the unknown. Armed with a naive faith that the dark holds no terror, we all went through the natural caves, to discover our own recess for solitude amidst the mammoth rocks that are resting since centuries. Those rocks filled with small crevices are loaded with umpteen challenges. Often, finding a way ahead in the maze of boulders becomes daunting as the chances of hitting a dead end means reinventing the wheel once again. The wild flowers with their gentle fragrance, and the natural caves with their cold soothing embrace did offer some sanctury against the sultry weather. We did learn some gymnastics, prodding ourselves though the closely nested rocks to reach no definite destination in an easy pace.

The view from the top is breath taking! Enveloped by sand, rock, sky and sun, the town of Kolar looks serene and calm. All I could feel was numbing contentment. With so many people sharing the joy of experience, the thought that lingered in that moment was, ‘who said its lonely at the top?’. 🙂 I was in for a treat while getting down. We discovered a small well with pristine sweet water and I relived the fantasy of a village gal by drawing water from the well and enjoying its sweet taste in primitive fashion. With loads of memories and sated satisfaction, we headed for Bangalore playing Antakshari enroute with the new found pals. We sealed off the day with a quiet dinner at Malgudi and bid our farewell. I had my much needed break, and I confess this, even though the after effects of the trek still remain in my hoarse throat and aching muscles.





An Aura Of Power..

21 06 2008

Sarkar And Sarkar Raj..

Recently I watched Sarkar Raj. This power packed sequel did compel me to watch the original Sarkar which has been in my to do list for long. I must say that SARKAR is an experience. Watching this movie did give me an insight into why Sushmita Dasgupta dedicated her book ‘Making of A Superstar’ to Ram Gopal Varma for making Sarkar. Ram Gopal Varma excels himself in carefully demystifying the aura of power that Amitabh Bachan’s image encompasses and utilizing it to the best of his advantage in crafting the role of Sarkar, a man who is a law onto himself and a parallel government in safeguarding common people’s interest. This movie is also a beautiful example of the brand Amitabh Bachchan that is carefully groomed over ages in Bollywood as the lonely angry young man to a power that grows beyond the system boundaries. This post is no review, for I suggest you all to check these movies with a huge bag of popcorn, for you feel little need for break while checking these power packed action dramas where people are clamoring for the ultimate supremacy.

Somehow, I felt a swell of pride in watching this Indian saga of power that stand as a stellar tribute to the legendary ‘God Father’. The weight and depth of the film lies in that closeup shots that capture the intensity of the actors, the soundtrack that blends well into the cultural fabric of the movie, and the complex plots that dexterously mix intrigue, loyalty, love, responsibility, honor and betrayal in exquisite detail. The power belongs to Bachchans indeed, yet the credit goes to Ram Gopal Varma. These movies are an experience in themselves. And I celebrated and cherished my moments with them. 🙂





Respect For Individual..

21 06 2008

This time I started with the title first, and as soon as I keyed it in, it sounded darn preachy! Especially when I have the Accenture core values pamphlet in front of me that has features the title as one of the core values. 🙂 Yet, it has been a lingering thought since sometime, and I have some interesting anecdotes to share.

Now that I mentioned Accenture, let me start with my induction programme that happened some months back. We were allotted some 2 hours session for discussion around this particular core value. Incidentally, this was I think the last session of the day and all of the participants were tired. The faculty walks in. The first question he posed to the listless audience was: “how much time do you all give to me?”. Someone answered 30 minutes. He quietly agrees and announces that this is ‘respect for individual’. I couldn’t help but burst clapping in appreciation. Yes. Indeed, he closed the session within agreed time and I did carry the message home. 🙂

One of my favorite anecdotes in office humor has been about ‘biscuit’. Though we often kid about the incident in lighter note, it did generate a serious thought too. It all happened in one of those office treks, where we are buying food stuff for snacking en route. One of the teammates wanted to pick some biscuits for it and he was made fun by some folks of being kiddish for his food choice. It is very easy to get carried away in light hearted banter. Most often, humor generated is at the expense of someone, especially in groups. Finally, that poor chap didn’t pick his biscuits and that did leave that feeling of denial with us.

Yet, that incident did trigger a new dictum in the gang, which we call by name biscuit. A rule to abide by the respective individual choices instead of succumbing to group think. And it did offer me some interesting experiences too. Respecting somebody’s interest in Art and Theatre did take me to ‘Water Lilies’, ‘Natyalakshana’ or ‘Don Muttuswami’, some of which I throughly enjoyed. “What’s your biscuit?”, this question that often happens among us, whilst we are thinking about weekend plans, often sounds like music. The idea of group coming to individual and celebrating independent thoughts, instead of individual interests being drowned in group is charming. And Yes. No one is denied of biscuit these days. 🙂





Love Hath Neither Limit Nor Reason…

17 06 2008

For love lies in that irrational tear that swells in your eye in those moments of goodbye even when mind acknowledges that she is never far in those lingering thoughts, or gentle phone calls. That’s the feeling that lingers in mind after some great moments of companionship with my little sis in Bangalore. And thats the reason for these ten days of hiatus from virtual world too, for being with her rarely leaves me with brooding moments. Now that she has left to home town, and I have to grapple with this aching hollow in my heart, I can’t help but muse on those mundane days that I spent with her which are turned into wonderful moments by her sheer presence. She is my partner in crime in those silly adventures, a perfect companion in silence when the mood calls for soothing numbness, a quiet bolster in raw moments of pain, a dearest pal and confidante for sharing those secrets and introspections, and the best gift that God has offered me in life.

As I have seen her grow from that little bundle of joy in my arms to a smart and mature lady, I can only cherish all those tender moments of the fierce relationship that we share. Probably the beauty of this lies in that tacit acceptance of one as oneself in each other’s company, or that sheer intensity of that love and affection that springs from an eternal bond that unites us in rain and shine, or that quiet companionship and gentle bliss that envelops one in that secured cloak of love, and respect. I may not figure in those lists of greatest sisters of the world, for my sins are many, right from being absent in those moments when she wished my presence to missing her birthday due to a hailstorm of work, yet if there is one thing that I have to site as one perfect truth of my life, it’s that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Whatever heights she may conquer, she would still remain that little sweet kiddo who creates that warm glow at heart with her cheerful presence.

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Somehow, whenever I think of her, CR’s this post plays in mind. After hunting this poem umpteen times in her blog, I am posting it here to cherish it a little more.

You’re older now
And no more the kid that I call you,
In many ways, more mature than I could ever be
Perhaps it’s the way of life
That an elder sibling be so lost and awestruck
With the hustle and bustle around
That she needs that smarter kid
Tugging her along and protecting her
From the surprises on the road ahead.

I smile when people point you out to me
And admit that they thought you were older
For the simple reason, you have always seemed so dignified and in control,
Little did they see the little hellion and scamp
That I saw while growing up,
The little one always so in scrapes
And yet, one who would rush to my rescue

Trying to pry me away from books to introduce me to the world,
I know that now you too belong among us bibliophiles,
And as I have changed you,
You have changed my nature,
Taught me independence and confidence when the stakes are down
That little strut that adds to the image
Keeping my head high even when the dice is rolling

You have taught me to love and forgive
And perhaps, most important of all,
You have taught me humility,
For one year is all that parts us,
And yet, you are so much the wiser
That I still have so much to learn

But now, more than ever
I want to weave a cocoon around you
And hold you close and keep you safe,
But that would only hamper your flight
And I know I must step back
And watch and learn as you take your steps
And leave your mark on all around,
I love you, kiddo
And have a safe flight this year!!!