Helloo World!

4 06 2013

Keying into the ‘Me’ time is so tough after the long sojourn. I really did think that it would be so easy to hop back and pick up things from where I have left. A long pause of 4 years feels like a life time and it is not easy to pretend that nothing has changed, especially when I know that the dreamy idealist has learned to shield herself with a cloak of realism..

What makes me drag myself to the writing desk today? A small acknowledgement from the void that made me long for those deep pauses of reflective contemplations. Sometimes its just a little push that is needed at the right time. So thank you pal for that small token and yes I hear you. It is no fun to lock myself out from that little shelter that I so ardently crafted for being my muse.

Rediscovering things that are close to heart should be positively charging, isn’t it? I still cant shake that sense of clumsy premonition that is playing my companion with every key stroke. I hope it passes away soon to lead me into that familiar comfort zone as I make terms with myself. Until then, here is a big  ‘hello world’ into the void. Thank you for the tireless encouragement and that humbling patience with which you embrace me in my every waking moment.





Flavor Of The Season

8 04 2009

Well.. that’s the expression of the day! At least for me.. Somehow this phrase holds a special charm from my perspective today.  Has it ever happened to you that you chase a gazillion of dreams over a rolling rainbow for a specific period of time and space only to discard them as worthless stones when that moment of realization twinkles at the corner of the eye? Why is it that all the wishes are endless and all I want is to endup with a little bit of everything in life?

Now, coming to the flavor of the season: its pure work season these days! Yes, days have folded onto months and the definition of time seems to be phasing out of life.. Caught in a race against time, my days are filled in chasing the deadlines which oft fly out of window making me bask in the shimmering afterglow of satisfaction with a delightful chuckle. I am happy, content and have become seemingly immune to everything around me except work. Driven by deadlines.. That just sounds like my tagline these days!

Sometimes, I guess its just best to enjoy the flavor of the season and savor it till it lasts. For, during that weariest part of the day, that tiny weeny dreamer in me still longs for those deliciously gloden sunshine moments of life like idyllic musings, carefree conversations and that warming glow of pals and books. The time for roses would come, all in a moment!





Definition Of Love

7 11 2008

I know it might sound a little strange, yet am compelled by this innate curiosity to understand what people define as love. Our lives run like a poetry of love, for its in love that we grow, evolve and rise up to our potential of what we are and what can we be. My definition and understanding of love has changed over years, and though how much ever I love to give an expression to that emotion, silence always beats me by a great margin.

What do we promise when we say ‘I Love You’? Are we creating an obligation for others to live up to or a promise for me to honor? Or it simply a heartfelt expression of intense emotion? Am left oft confused. All those happily in love, indifferent from its charms and those engaged in pursuit, do pitch in for I would love to hear what you want to say in this.

Now don’t wonder about the context of this question. I am just a plain Jane who having lived through a quarter century, is desparately trying to get her basics right. Probably, all I want deep down in my heart, is to be loved just a little more.





Counting Life By Moments..

9 10 2008

People don’t last forever, sometimes neither relationships do. Yet, its just memories and moments that make us truly alive are those that last forever, or atleast till we do.

Why?

I guess we all know the answer at the subconscious level, yet it does take a conscious effort to acknowledge, understand and give our life and every living moment to the moment.

Can we design our destiny or rule our fate?

I doubt it very much. Yet, we do hold a control of the passing moments and have the power in our hand to transform them into magical memories for the life time. Just a small thought in this direction really showed me things in a new light and hence it became a resolution for this festival period.





Comfort Zones..

7 09 2008

Those are big words. They are also the most often used/abused words in my dictionary. You would often catching me rolling it off with a careless regard oft to myself and often in generic conversations that go around the world.

Come think of it, there are many things that offer comfort in moments of insanity drives. It could be a pack of chocolates, a piece of soothing music, my favorite workspace, or the cozy comfort of an enjoyable book that often comes to rescue offering serene solitude and sweet freedom in the world of my own making. Yet, Cooing up long enough in those little spaces can make one forget the terrible purpose of being for it hinders the ability to dare and heed to the passion call to risk everything for something that we hold close to heart.

Sometimes I feel as if I am so away from my own self that it takes me a while to call for rescue. What so often made for lingering comfort couldn’t assert its existence anymore. Of all the paradoxical pursuits of life, have you ever experienced this urge to deny those little alcoves of comfort in search of something whose essence you haven’t grasped so far?





Some Moments Cherished…

18 08 2008

Yesterday unraveled like a beautiful present for me, and what made it special was that truly cherished feeling that you can acquire only in the companionship of those who can converse with your silence. I am sure going to mark that wonderful day in my memory forever, and I couldn’t help but muse on all those wonderful moments in life when many loved ones walked that extra mile to show how much they cared or loved. Those surprise visits from lovedones, those thoughtful actions from friends, that special care from friends in times when spirit hits an all time low, that precious gift of time from your mentors and pals when you need them the most, and those tiny thoughtful acts of love that tacitly speak volumes about how much blessed I am.

I couldn’t help but say a small prayer at heart, for thoughts do fail me in those moments of unquenchable happiness. God, give me life and heart to reciprocate the abundant love and kindness that I receive in this world, and do give me conscience to smell the roses along the path and count my blessings along this seemingly endless journey of life.





Midnight Musings..

10 08 2008

I would start by telling you how special these are for me for I rarely meet midnights in eye. Probably I can count those days on fingers when I really waited for the darkness to envelop me in tranquility at the darkest of hour. One of those moments of tranquiliy where I am content with the company of me and myself. Its 2 AM right now and I feel so good to be awake to keep the company of myself. I’m suffering from a heady mix of movie overdose, weariness thats creeping into the head after watching 3 movies back to back just to drive maddening thoughts out of my system, and a strange sense of solitude. I cherish this rare experience.

I am surprised at myself Though. Why is this zeal to drive oneself to the edge, just to test the limit of my endurance?