‘My Feudal Lord’ By Tehmina Durrani

14 04 2008

I picked this book intrigued by the title and the Author’s note that read like this.

“There is a fantasy of a feudal lord as an exotic, tall, dark and handsome man, with flashing eyes and traces of quick-tempered gypsy blood. Images of him parrying thrusts with the fiercest of swordsmen and riding off into the sunset on his black steed set the pubescent heart aflutter. He is seen as a passionate ladies man and something of a rough diamond, the archetypal male chauvinist who forces a woman to love him despite his treatment of her.

But the fantasy is far from reality, and my country of Pakistan must face up to reality of it is ever to grow and prosper. “

And so Tehmina Durrani goes carefully unwinding the details of her private life in a male dominated chauvinistic society, to give voice to the abuse she suffered while being married to a despotic and brutish husband Mustafa Khar as a Sixth Wife. After being suffered in silence for 13 years often trading her self-esteem and individuality for a marriage that rocked with physical abuse and emotional blackmail, Tehmina Durrani stands up for what she truly is. I am glad that Tehmina broke free from the convention and took up the choice of raising her voice against her conniving, manipulative, and spineless Feudal Lordship, risking her life and character assassination in public for her conscience.

Being a part of a society and family which accepted me for what I am, it is indeed difficult for me to acknowledge the world of ‘Tehmina Durrani’ which is plagued by physical abuse, marital rape, hypocrisy, public scrutiny, betrayal, and where women are treated as mere possessions and objects of desire, and the basic human rights to women are still a dream. Set in the political context of the Pakistan in 80’s, this book examines the personal and political life of a famous political figure in Pakistan called ‘Mustafa Khar’, who for me remains as Ms. Durrani’s ex-husband.

Going through a reflection of this autobiographical account of her life, my heart indeed said a small prayer for this beautiful woman and her unfailing courage. This book indeed stands as a living testament to the unsurmountable human spirit and its longing for freedom of self expression.



21 responses

14 04 2008

Hats off all those women of courage and conviction…you should read “not without my daughter” its a similar book…story of another courageous woman…

13 07 2012
ali asad

where can i download this book or read online ???
please email me the link


14 04 2008

Agree with Sai
I read Not Without my Daughter when I was in 11th standard and found it inspiring then, am sure this would be true even today.
Women like these do encourage others in similar conditions to speak out.

15 04 2008

Nice post… enticing enough to make me read this book too. 🙂

15 04 2008

Thanks for this post – I read parts of her story in high school; she’s very courageous.

Is that your Flickr photostream to the right? You’re an extraordinary photographer!

20 04 2008

@ sai
Agreed. 🙂
@ CR
I checked out “Not Without my Daughter” synopsis after u both recommended it.. They do encourage the fighter spirit.
@ Susheel
Thank you.
@ Baraka
Thank you. Not my Flickr stream, but of someone whom I admire.

25 10 2008
ruchi choudhary

i simply admire the women of courage-TEHMINA DURRANI.read the book MY FEUDAL LORD. a few people actually STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT and she did.would only say- hats off to tehmina durrani .may god bless you and provide peace to your soul

4 11 2008
Saurabh Paul

Just read the book- ” My Feudal Lords”- HATS OFF to this courageous lady…Tehmina Durrani !!!! Indeed,courageous are those people who dares to fight against injustice…MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND BESTOW YOU WITH ALL HAPPINESS!!!

29 06 2009

Read her Feudal Lord , many women may have learnt from her experiences. She should become a politician and do some thing for her people which were ignored during times.She have the guts.

Tehmina baji plz come forward we r with u GO STEP forward. The people of agra kudo and sheikh kali are with u……..COME TO POLITICS>>>>

26 02 2010

Today i was forcefully raped by Mustafa Khar’s son, Mohammad yar Khar (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=591656281&ref=ts) and i don’t know what to do 😥 i need help . he took away my innocence with his cunningness.. can anyone please suggest or guide me???

11 03 2010

i am a big fan of tahmina….after i read the book .iam from multan and my home is just next to miladi khar’s house(mustafa brother who got married with mustafa’s 1st wife after he divorced her)they r all friends with my relatives.i am sure every word in the book is true!!
but one question came to my mind all the time i was readin the book tht why tahmina let her sister do such things??why she didnt talk to her or throw her out of her house instead of fighting with his husband?
or may be it was all she can do at tht time …..

22 07 2010
ravi belagere

on my recent visit to islaamabad along with indian external affairs minister as a reporter, i wondered the streets of islamabad and picke up the book My Feudal Lord of Mrs,Durrani. the book reminded me of the struggle of my mother all through the life. i couldnot hold tears reading a few chapters.
my sincere request is, kindly provide me the mail i.d of Mrs. Durrani, so thata i can be in touch with her and even translate the book into kannada, a south indian language.

ravi belagere

22 07 2010
ravi belagere

need the mail id of Mrs.tahmina durrani please

15 07 2011

It goes without saying that Tehmina Durrani was one of the hottest ladies of the past.The way she unfolded her matrimonial life, hugely commendable. I desperately want to meet such a towering figure.

9 11 2011
zamin haider

hello i want to get this book on internet. i tried to find out but i can’t able to find it.plz help me to go find it zaminrain@yahoo.com

14 03 2017
Ishaq Hayyat

I am curious too to study this book online, is there anyone who can help me.

7 04 2012

Woman has always been a victim of every society but in different ways, either to be given a full freedom or deprived of all her innocence,honour and status at the hands of a cruel man: who is definitely someone’s brother,son,father or husband. No man of any society can stand his daughter,sister,mother and wife to be molested by any other man but goes wild while seeing another woman where he least bothers about all the above sacred relations that he has back home. Woman is a symbol of piety, humility and innocence provided she is treated fairly and what she really desrves.

27 02 2013

Hi there,

Just wondering where I can get this ebook from. There arent any book stores is Sydney that sell it

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