Back to Basics…

18 01 2009

Life is a set of puzzling and contradictory questions to me. Often cosmic, they do spring an endless debate in the mind. Does the end lie in the answer or in the engaging loop of discussions, I couldn’t figure it so far, either. Here are some of them that are so tantalizingly engrossing in occupying the mind and soul at times.

What’s the purpose of human life?

To realize one’s true potential. To be at peace with oneself, with the neighborhood and with the world at large.

Why should we realize our potential?

To be what we can really be, to test our limitations and possibilities. Sometimes I wonder how far I have come in realization of my own capabilities. I am afraid to test the limits not because I don’t have the capability, but because I fear my own unlimited endurance, potential and expanse.

Risk: Such a tantalizingly dangerous word, yet I am so used to toil it on a daily basis.

Somehow now, I could see the essence in the wish, ‘may you live everyday of your life’. Hmm… Somehow why is it that everything in life feels like a game of probabilities? May be all that I can do is give my 100%, hope for the best and prepare for worst.

Its that time of the year again..

16 01 2009

Here’s how the gtalk status of one of my friends’ read on Jan 1st. “New year much more than change of last part of date. It means a new start, taking all +ves from 2008 to 2009 and leaving behind any -ves. It means defining new objectives for next 365 days along with redefining life goals. Lets take this opportunity and redefine life…in a new way.” I kind of loved it! Written on Jan 1st, this post is the gift of those nights which doesn’t come too often.

The night of Dec 31st and the Day of Jan 1st kind of runs on a slow momentum, at least for me. I had the most beautiful night of 2008 on 31st Dec and a marvelous day of Jan 1st this year as I dreamed on with open eyes. It felt as if the time has paused again to collate, garner and chew on the big things that happened in 2008 and dream up a whole lot of new things to get geared for 2009. Yes! Its that time of the year again to dream of those things called resolutions and try measuring how long would I sustain them in spirit and action. I love this tradition of New Year, the whole exercise of planning my own new laundry list of things to look forward to for the whole year. 🙂

Some personal goals, some small ambitions, some aspirations and a whole lot of wish lists.. They did make my action packed January. Action points and deadlines do pack a great deal of kick in them. I just love the immense satisfaction they leave behind as they fly by as per their schedule.

Here’s is how my laundry list looks like at this moment:
On the personal side,
A fitter me – Now don’t suspect this as an euphemism for ‘weight loss’. I have never got around achieving that goal of 50 something. 🙂 Yet, this wish is more to gift myself a more ‘energetic, dynamic and an enthusiastic’ me, which I could only prove to myself by my activity, long walks, treks and energy levels. Am planning to trek once a month, walk to office once a week and revive those old long walks.

An Organized Self – Well, I fare like an average grader in keeping myself organized. Somehow, yet I still believe that every 5 mins spent in organizing stuff, saves an hour later. I don’t know how to track this goal, but I am planning to list out action points to track under each of these BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals – one of those management lingo fallback).

A Domestic Me – Now, before you laugh your way out, give me a minute. This is important stuff for a bacheloress at 25, who is tired of eating out for about 9 years now. I have been such a depressingly pessimistic about my culinary skills so far that I often miss the basic and key ingredients (read salt) to create potentially disastrous homegrown recipes at home. Also, I guess its this strong sense to play that homebody and belong to somewhere that’s taking me over. So, this time the agenda includes me paying attention to home, kitchen and the domesticity overall. 🙂

Grooming those All rounder skills – To think on some specifics, I want to work on details, and train myself on the details on financials and operations which are essential for running business. Since, my new role is cross functional, I am hoping to capitalize on that expose to improvise on those skills

Learning more balance – call it work-life balance, or better time/stress/work management, I want to create that fine line between the personal and professional self and balance both of them with equal passion. Yes, I want to develop passion out of personal life, yet maintain passionate balance in work.

Mastery over self – If there is one quality that I want to add to myself this year, that’s discipline and rigor. Am more of a person who lives life day a time, and hence is mellowed and flexible like the water in many things. Yet, sometimes I strongly feel the need for some rigorous focus and discipline in adhering to those small little choices of life.

Wish me luck as I try to sustain these tiny little ambitions through out this year. 🙂

A Smile In the Sky!

1 12 2008

Today I am rewarded with a beautiful smile that got unveiled in the sky. One of those rare moments, when the Venus, Jupiter and the crescent Moon came together to spread some cheer in the sky.

It looked so beautiful and radiant for the moment it lasted! How beautiful simplest joys of life can be! They sure made my evening before clouds stealthily stole them away for themselves. Some moments really last for a lifetime!

Though I couldn’t do justice to the memory of such marvelous beauty, I still love to share this with you all.

In Memory Of the Real Heroes

1 12 2008

Mumbai was in thought, mind and spirit for the past 100 hours. In those moments of heightened and frenzied activity, my emotions were a big kaleidoscope of mixed colors: of denial, anger, blankness, insecurity, helplessness, and agony of loss.

Digesting the mindless madness of this attempt has been the toughest part of the past week. I was praying for the ruthlessness  of the time and mind to commit the horror of the moment to the memory and make me carry on life like business as usual. I guess its the classic escapist nature of the self that lulls one to hope and wish for the better future and life of the countrymen.

Terrorists, Bombs and attacks are not new to us. They are just a part of old news that we deal with in our lifetime. Resilient and united is how our Mumbai janata has always been. They made me proud during the blasts or the floods of the recent times by the way they stood for each other and supported one another. The glorious NSG, Army and Commandos who laid their life on battle to save their fellow countrymen, and those innumerable and countless people of Taj and Oberoi who sacrificed their life in the name of duty, responsibility and honor: You make me proud. You also teach me a lesson in humility, love, respect, honor and duty. I mourn for the senseless loss of you all. May your soul rest in peace and quiet and may your sacrifice remain forever in the mind of people and make way for a positive and better future.

As an Indian, I couldn’t resist myself from quoting this song that’s committed to my memory since childhood days.

‘E Mere Watan Ke Logon, Jara Aankh Me Bharlo Paani
Jo Shaheed Huve Hai Vunki, Jara Yaar Karo Kurbani.’

My eyes are still red with anger, and contempt for the senseless audacity of the monsters and the grief for the destruction of the lives of the people and here we promise that your sacrifice wouldn’t go waste in lighting candles or tea time discussions of Mumbai blasts but would be committed to memory and reflected in actions of our fellow men.

This is time for leadership, for action, and commitment from the Government to take India to the progress and security. Dear leaders, do tell us. Could a better intelligence system have avoided this Mumbai Massacre? Could a better planning would have reduced the heavy loss of life that tolls heavily on the conscience of every Indian? Yes, we Indians are resilient and we would bounce back to life faster. But isn’t it your job to ensure and assure that these incidents wouldn’t repeat and rehash themselves in grisly and morbid frequency. Give us a plan, and not just some shoot off the lip condolences and condemnations. I refuse to believe that India, with its rich intellectual horse power can’t learn from this lesson and make plan for the best intelligence and tracking system to deroot the terrorist network. This is the time of action for us to take a stand tall like determined patriots and contribute our share to the betterment of the environment and society at large. This is the time to take time to reflect, cull the lessons, and make a personal plan for contribution to the enhancement of the security, safety and growth of the team called India.

A note to the Monsters:

What appalled me is the gall of those uncultured, vacuous bigots who could kill with smile and with utter disregard to conscience. I wonder how would your so called God permit this frenzied destruction under a larger purpose. What could be the education of your brainwashed asinine monsters whose doctrines permit the ruthless killing of fellow people with reckless abandon in the name of holy war or some messed up ideology to reserve a seat in heaven. Wah, is this your idea of holy war business? What could be holy in taking on defenceless, unprepared, friendly people by surprise and blowing their brains out in a displaced sense of justice? Oh I forget, you peanut brained guys cant be expected to understand concepts like holy, God and justice. Ever tthought about what does your Heaven look like? A mirror of the destruction you created? Of strewn lambs of your fellow men, of debris of the marvels of creation filled with stench of blood and flesh?

Yeah, right. You guys were making a statement: of your empty headed ideologies, of your debased moral sense, cheap values and of the deviousness of the monstrous actions. Just wake up from perdition and watch for yourself. You wanted to our national monument to bit the dust? You would see the Taj standing proud and tall, living to tell the courageous tale of the ordeal. I can see it back to its feet better and beautiful in weeks. You wanted to instill fear in the heart of the business of India? Go check, for the city of Mumbai is back on its feet, with those crowded metro stations and with tonnes of people making a statement of courage as they brush past the terror and walk up to a purposeful Monday with determination. You wanted to cripple India’s growth? We might miss some tourist dollars, but haven’t you already noticed the the vadapav centres getting busied up on the streets in utter disregard for your brutish actions. Nothing and no-one can stop the tenacity and the persistence of the Indians that make my country. It’s just another day for us, to conquer life and the world at large.

A Place That Spells Peace..

21 11 2008

And a memory that I would treasure for a life time. It took me an year to discover this beautiful sojourn in the Bangalore city. Yes, I am talking about the same good old Kempfort ShivMandir on airport road in Bangalore.

Now, you might ask me why is it so special for me? Its because it gifted me a peaceful and serene memory at the darkest hour of the day. I was exhausted and drained from the day to day turmoil of the work, and all I wanted at night is some place to relax and reflect in peace with a close friend. And a thought crossed my mind to venture to this place, and we were amply rewarded as we walked in just when the last aarti of the temple was about to commence. The night turned radiant and I was spellbound to watch the mighty magnificence of the prayer. The feeling was beyond an expression that words could lace and the divine solace that enveloped me was soothing and comforting in gentle grace. There I was, at peace with myself, in unison with the environment, and God.

I would never claim to be a traditional theist, yet I avow by the faith and belief that makes a place of worship divine. What are rituals, if they don’t enhance and  magnify the inner hope and faith. What are temples, if they don’t stand as a testament of faith. I believe. How powerful that expression could be! I realize it whenever I visit a temple, for always it calms my mind and brings peace.  The sheer might of faith enlivens the God for me.

After so many days, the experience still remains just a thought away, like a fond caress of a gentle breeze. After discovering this little alcove, which is the only peaceful temple that I have known to be open for 24 hours throughout the day, I am sure to garner further memories.

P.S.: Thanks to Srijith for this beautiful capture.

Definition Of Love

7 11 2008

I know it might sound a little strange, yet am compelled by this innate curiosity to understand what people define as love. Our lives run like a poetry of love, for its in love that we grow, evolve and rise up to our potential of what we are and what can we be. My definition and understanding of love has changed over years, and though how much ever I love to give an expression to that emotion, silence always beats me by a great margin.

What do we promise when we say ‘I Love You’? Are we creating an obligation for others to live up to or a promise for me to honor? Or it simply a heartfelt expression of intense emotion? Am left oft confused. All those happily in love, indifferent from its charms and those engaged in pursuit, do pitch in for I would love to hear what you want to say in this.

Now don’t wonder about the context of this question. I am just a plain Jane who having lived through a quarter century, is desparately trying to get her basics right. Probably, all I want deep down in my heart, is to be loved just a little more.

Counting Life By Moments..

9 10 2008

People don’t last forever, sometimes neither relationships do. Yet, its just memories and moments that make us truly alive are those that last forever, or atleast till we do.


I guess we all know the answer at the subconscious level, yet it does take a conscious effort to acknowledge, understand and give our life and every living moment to the moment.

Can we design our destiny or rule our fate?

I doubt it very much. Yet, we do hold a control of the passing moments and have the power in our hand to transform them into magical memories for the life time. Just a small thought in this direction really showed me things in a new light and hence it became a resolution for this festival period.