Familiarity, does it actually breed contempt?

13 01 2005

Well, as it happens I fail to see the wisdom in the sentence “familiarity breeds contempt”. I strongly opine, familiarity doesn’t breed contempt.. It actually encourages companionship.

My idea of life and priorities:

I prefer to say that I value brutal frankness in any relationship and freedom.. the freedom to share what ever you feel.. and the relationship should be pure that you can share your feelings.. and in the same way, you should respect other’s feelings and opinions… This calls for mutual dependency, which is really rare in Indian settings.. Ever wonder why it happens? It is because of the long barriers erected among people on basis of hierarchy, modesty and what not? If I cant really express what I feel to my dad, why the hell do I need one, just to provide for my pocket?

My theory of origin for contempt:

I think that basically contempt arises from familiarity because people play games with others.. According to me, every person is insecure. And added to that, he is a social animal… He needs company to survive and to feel that he is alive, but he doesn’t want others to control him.. at this stage, its fine.. the problem arises when he tries to control others.. Here, let me distinguish between power of control and power of love..

When you have the power of control over someone, you feel safe because you know the limits of the game, you know the weaknesses of the person and you bask at the power you have on him.

In the other case, in the power of love, you give the other person an equal change to decide and here power you have on him depends on the value he places on your relationship, which is always uncertain… Correct me if I am wrong. Since the uncertainty and the chances that you lose are high, no one cares to really love anyone, love for the person’s sake.. So people commonly try to lay their own rules and establish their own domains and hierarchy of control. It is because it makes them feel safe and secure..

Finally, its not the familiarity which breeds contempt but the way in which we establish and maintain relationships, the little ways in which we play games with ourselves and with the world.. Think on it..


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8 01 2008
Rasika

This is the best written article in your blog. Believe me, I have lots of work to do in office :)… but somehow I don’t feel like to stop reading… You should publish your book… seriously.

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