What’s this Guilt?

17 11 2004

So many times it so happens that we feel guilty that we haven’t lived upto someone’s expectations. The guilt trips that we take and the disappointment that we enforce on ourselves, are they essential? I think we create guilt when there is no need for it. Guilt is a personal admission that I am conditionally Lovable. And it is one emotion which is absolutely unnecessary for existence and it is that emotion which degrades the quality of life. I feel this Guilt again does not come from within my mind. I have never felt guilty that I haven’t lived up to my standards. Is that why I can relate guilt to a sort of shame kind of feeling?

At times I don’t find myself wrong anywhere but the society is hell bound to make me confess and realize that I made a mistake. This is again and idea that I feel is brought up from the society. The society has decided a threshold, performing below which makes me guilty and my performance above that threshold is appreciated by the society. Guilt for me at times is the fight between what I want to do and what this society wants me to do. Now if I conform to the society I feel guilty as I am not what I want to be.. If I didn’t, I feel guilty as I couldn’t fulfill the expectations of others placed on me. Its really a tough fight to shed that sensation.. Yet, am working on it..


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4 responses

6 06 2008
Joyeeta

We all set standards for ourselves according to our own ideals, and only we can live upto our own standards…not anyone else because they have their own.
Invoking guilt in another person is a sign of controlling behaviour…and invoking guilt in oneself is a sign of weakness, lack of self confidence!
A well written piece…

6 06 2008
nrsl

@ Joyeeta
Somehow, I never felt guilty when I didn’t live upto my expectations. Probably because guilt is connected to a sense of shame which is artificially induced..

“Invoking guilt in another person is a sign of controlling behaviour.. ” How true.. Yet we see that power struggles are quite common in many relationships.. Unconditional love often remains an ideal.. Hmmm..

6 06 2008
joyeetamajumdar

On giving it a second thought I feel…’guilt’ probably is not the appropriate word to use for when we fail to live upto our own expectations…I think what we feel is a sense of failure and remorse but then…we can always spring back again with hope, to give ourselves another chance.

9 06 2008
nrsl

@ Joyeeta

U kind of hit the nail on the head. 🙂

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